After knowing the father passed away, the wife and sister immediately started to arrange the children's affairs. After all, my grandpa passed away, and the children also had to go back to their hometown. Let the children hurry up and do their homework first. I had planned to have my cousin drive over to pick them up. However, my cousin said that he had to arrange the family affairs before he would be free, so the children had better wait for a while.
Under their careful layout, after we negotiated the high fare, they immediately took action. The two eyeliners found a cart, and with their assistance, we moved my father onto the cart, and then packed everything we had organized onto the cart. My mother, brother-in-law and I left this sad place with different feelings.
After pushing my father into the car, my mother and brother-in-law sat in front, while I insisted on staying beside my father. Perhaps, someone will ask: "Are you afraid?"
"Not afraid!" After hearing this, I would answer without hesitation. Of course, not because I was bold, but because it was my father lying beside me. That is the closest relative to me, blood is thicker than water, no matter how my father becomes, all I have for him is a deep affection. It has been an eternity, and facing my father, I have mixed feelings in my heart, including disbelief, deep yearning, and deep sadness, but there is no fear.
I have seen such research results, it is said that consciousness does not disappear immediately after death. From the moment the heart stops beating, one can only passively experience the external world. In other words, within a certain period of time, the deceased may still be able to hear what you said, but he (she) is no longer able to communicate with you. I just want to quietly accompany my father for the last time before his consciousness completely dissipates.
There was silence in the carriage, and by the whirling lights (light from street lamps), I looked at my father without blinking. The moment his father died, his mouth, which opened like a fish out of water, slowly closed. At this time, the father looked very peaceful, as if he had fallen asleep quietly.
Recalling his father's life since the operation, it seems that such a peaceful expression has never appeared before. The two terrifying scars have always troubled my father. After the operation, my father struggled with the pain from the scar. My father is tenacious. During my hospitalization, I have never seen anyone who can endure the severe pain from his body like my father without even a "hum".
During the nearly one month of hospitalization, it was not only our relatives who expressed admiration for my father's tenacious will. As long as anyone has been in contact with his father, there is no one who does not praise his tenacious will. Although everyone's praise brought spiritual joy to my father, the pain on my father's body would not be weakened in the slightest. I know that my father at that time endured the unbearable pain all the time.
No one would doubt the strength of father's will. But the main reason why my father was able to persevere without saying a word was because of hope. At that time, my father thought that esophageal cancer surgery was just a minor operation. With the current level of technology development, this minor operation is almost likely to be successful. In my father's view, as long as I can survive the most painful moment, as my body gradually recovers, the excruciating pain will inevitably weaken.
However, what my father didn't know was that esophageal cancer surgery is not a minor operation, and the probability of failure is far greater than success. Moreover, the vast majority of successful patients are still in the early stages, those with relatively small tumors. Of course, we only gradually learned about this after the operation of our father. My father's esophageal cancer has reached the advanced stage, and the tumor is very large. It was because of the possibility of success that I decided to have my father operate. After all, if there is an operation, there is still a glimmer of hope; on the contrary, if there is no operation, then the death of the father is only a matter of time. For my father, at that time, I had to choose to gamble.
Unfortunately, the final result proved that I, who never participated in gambling, lost the bet. In order not to cause a psychological burden on my father, we kept many things from him. What my father didn't know was that while he was expecting that the pain from the scar would gradually subside, he had been preliminarily found to have relapsed esophageal cancer. In other words, the father had almost completely lost hope of getting rid of the pain.
The pain, which was expected to be continuously reduced, became more and more painful as time went by. The impact of such a result on my father's psychology was beyond my imagination. But even so, my father still endured it tenaciously without saying a word.
Originally, we planned to get some anesthetics for my father to relieve his later pain. However, considering that the emergence of anesthetics is likely to have a strong psychological impact on the father, soWe decided not to let my father see the word narcotics unless it was absolutely necessary. But, who would have thought that father would leave in such a hasty way? There was no sign of being bedridden at all. Even the last time he urinated, my father insisted on going to the bathroom to solve it by himself. So, from beginning to end, my father only took a few painkillers occasionally.
Some people say that in the end, if there is no anesthetic, cancer patients will be writhing in pain. I don't know if this is true. However, I know that such a situation has never happened to my father who did not use anesthesia. Thinking of this, I can't help but feel admiration for my father's perseverance.
After the cancer recurs, the cancer cells continue to spread. Slowly, besides the scar, other places also became painful. The most obvious of these is the spine. According to the doctors at the town hospital, it was caused by the spread of cancer cells to the spine. Therefore, in the later period, as long as the father sat for a little longer, he would yell "back pain"!
The scar became more and more painful, and the "waist" also became more and more painful. In the end, it almost evolved into pain everywhere in the body. But, even so, my father just "hummed" a few words. It wasn't until the last few days that we heard our father's "hum". Although the "humming" was very slight, when we heard it, my father still explained with some embarrassment: "Actually, I hate other people's humming the most, but now my body is really in pain, so I have to 'hum' Hum' two sentences to feel more comfortable!"
After hearing my father's explanation, my eyes felt a little wet. From my father's inconsistent explanations, I knew that the pain on my father's body was about to exceed the limit he could bear. Since the operation, my father has lived in pain all the time.
I looked at the serenity on my father's face again. Perhaps, this is a kind of relief for the father. After all, only in this way can father be truly freed from the pain. (Remember the site URL: www.hlnovel.com