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200 days of tears

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    ?

    When I was immersed in the memory of my father, the mobile phone rang suddenly.  I checked the caller ID, it was my cousin.  I picked up the phone: "Hello"

    "So-and-so (my nickname), when will you be home?"

    "Now, the car has already left the urban area, and it will arrive in less than half an hour." I replied in a low voice.

    "Ohdon't worry, everything at home is basically ready"

    "Thank you!" I couldn't help but say.  This time, if it wasn't for my cousin to help take care of it, I really don't know how to deal with it in a hurry.  Since my father's surgery, my cousin has given us too much help.  My "thank you" is really a feeling, and it is a word from the bottom of my heart.

    The cousin was stunned for a moment, and then said disapprovingly: "They are all from my own family, so there is no need to be like this. Now, how about going to pick them up (sister, wife and children)?"

    "Brother, no need. So-and-so (the wife's name) said that you have a lot of things to do at home, so they will take a taxi back by themselves."

    "Okay, if you can't get a taxi, let her call me."

    I know what my cousin means, if there is really no car, then he will immediately drive to the city to pick him up.  Although I didn't say "thank you" again, the warm feeling in my heart became more obvious.  "Well, I'll tell her."

    My cousin's phone call woke me up from my memories.  At this time, I realized that due to the constant busyness, there are still some relatives who have not been notified.  I remember, at that time, I first dialed a call to the second aunt's house whose family had migrated to other places.  As a close relative, after receiving such bad news, I am naturally very sad.  It is because of their own grief that they think of a word or two of consolation.  It's just that it's okay if they don't comfort me, but this consolation instead arouses the infinite grief that has been suppressed in my heart.

    Since my father died, I have been thinking and dealing with the problems I have to face.  A high level of busyness in thought and behavior distracts me to a great extent.  Plus, my father looked very peaceful indeed, as if asleep.  Emotionally speaking, I don't want to believe my father's departure at all.  Therefore, until the second aunts began to comfort me, I didn't really realize that my father had left us forever.  I sat beside my father quietly, as if I was accompanying my relatives who fell asleep.  Until now, I really realized that my father has sunk into a dreamland forever, my father will never wake up, my father will never look at us kindly again, my father will never talk to us again, forever  ,forever¡­¡­

    I finally woke up from my self-deception.  An uncontrollable sadness welled up in my heart, and I burst into tears.  As a man, I would never cry like my mother.  Inheriting the "hardness" of my father's character, I almost never shed tears. Therefore, when watching tragic TV dramas, my wife often scolds me for being "hard-hearted".  Am I really "hard-hearted"?  No, absolutely not.  "When a man has tears, he doesn't flick them lightly, just because he hasn't reached the place where he is sad"!  The death of my father touched the weakest point in my heart, so I couldn't help but "cry" silently for the first time.

    I have always regarded my parents as my "world".  Just like "heaven and earth" bred all things, my parents gave me life.  Without my parents, there would be no me.  But what makes parents greater than "heaven and earth" is that while giving life, they don't give their own constraints and restrictions.  All things in the world are born with the heaven and the earth, and will inevitably perish with the demise of the heaven and the earth.  If the sky is really falling apart, then everything in the world will definitely turn into nothingness in an instant.  This is the bondage and restriction given to all things in the world by "heaven and earth".  In front of all things conceived by itself, "heaven and earth" is the supreme master.

    Compared with "heaven and earth", emotional "parents" will never be like this.  Parents will work hard to bring up their children. After their children can be independent, what parents want to see is that their children can live better, at least better than themselves.  Parents are so selfless.  What parents hope most is "the blue is better than the blue".  Therefore, when my father said before that "the sack bag and straw bag are not as good as the next generation", he seemed so lonely.

    The greatness of parents lies in that after endowing their children with life and cultivating them to become talents, they never hope that when their own lives end, the lives of their children will also end.  In the traditional concept of the Chinese nation, there is nothing more sad than "grey-haired people give black-haired people".  "Heaven and Earth" will ruthlessly obliterate everything they conceived at the end of themselves; but "parents" will pray that their children will live a long life and be happy and healthy when their lives are coming to an end.

    The greatest thing about parents lies in their broad feelings.  parents for themselvesThe love of one's own children is the most selfless and touching love in the world.  I don't know how many people were moved by the mother's feat of saving the baby with her own body during the earthquake.  When people found the mother and son, the mother had passed away forever.  Under the body of this great mother lies the surviving baby.  What people saw was that the baby who didn't know the bad news was still sucking the mother's sweet milk.  If it weren't for the mother's broad chest, if it weren't for the life-and-death but endless life-saving milk, then the baby must have lost its life before it was discovered by the rescue team.  Seeing this scene, who in this world is not touched by the moving "mother's love" (tears)?  When you are moved, please don't forget that if it were your mother, then I think she would choose the same way.

    ? Although I "regard my father as heaven", my father's death did not take my life like the apocalypse.  For a father suffering from illness, perhaps "passing away" is a relief.  But for me, my father's departure is the most difficult thing for me to accept, and it is the most painful thing for me.  "Grey-haired people give black-haired people" will inevitably be heartbroken; but "black-haired people give white-haired people" will feel better?  No, not at all!  Maybe it's a little exaggerated to use "broken liver and intestines", but, I think, it's not far from "broken liver and intestines".  After the "Heaven Crash", it was precisely because I still kept my life that I "teared" with extreme sadness.  I don't know how long I've been "tearing", and I can even hear my own "choking", but I just can't hear what the second aunts comforted.  At that time, I felt that there seemed to be only "sadness" left in the world.  (Remember the site URL: www.hlnovel.com
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