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Chapter 956

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    ?

    Compensating mentality is good sometimes, after all, it can make people transfer to the dead end, and indeed they have some understanding in some aspects.

    But there is also the possibility of going off track, one is the withdrawal reaction of giving up on oneself, and the other is the overcompensation of overreaction.

    Overcompensation is to over-magnify the success or strengths of a certain aspect. In fact, it covers up the real inferiority complex. It is not to face up to one's own problems and correct them, but to prove that one can do it from other aspects.

    For example, many people who are addicted to games go to the virtual world to fight monsters, level up, and obtain titles and rewards because they are not going well in their studies or work;

    Children who like to fight at school also gain the illusion of "I'm good" by bullying others.

    In "The Great Gatsby", it is because Gatsby feels inferior in front of his girlfriend that he has the motivation to pursue excellence. After he succeeds, he hides his inner inferiority complex by "showing off his sex fee";

    When the goddess in his heart appeared again, he still felt that he was very humble, and he still couldn't treat the person he liked with an equal attitude.

    In Adler's words, this movement towards superiority is always directed towards the useless side of life, while the real problems are glossed over or avoided.

    The withdrawal reaction is that after discovering one's own shortcomings, one does not make up for it, but thinks that oneself is stupid or incompetent, and denies oneself fundamentally, so that one's inferiority complex can easily turn into an inferiority complex.

    Inferiority complex is actually directly related to our parents' attitude towards us in childhood.

    If parents tolerate and love their children, the children will not easily feel unbalanced; if they are neglected and indifferent, then the children will easily think that they are worthless and have a sense of inferiority;  Sometimes, you will doubt yourself, or overcompensate.

    For example, for a child, her mother often said that Xiao Ming next door is so good at studying. If you look at him, the child will have a sense of inferiority at this time, thinking that I am an idiot and that my mother does not love me.

    If what mother said is that although Xiao Ming next door is good at studying, but you are also working hard, and mother believes that you can do well, then this child will feel superior. Mom loves me, and as long as I work hard, I can surpass others.

    Therefore, most of the weird behaviors caused by inferiority complex are, in the final analysis, due to lack of love.  There is no way to choose the environment when I was a child, and not every parent will educate their children correctly. They are all educating in the way they think is best.

    After people with inferiority complex realize this, they can try to keep themselves busy and use real achievements to build their self-confidence. In the matter of inferiority complex, only oneself can save themselves, and no one else can do anything about it.

    Looking back on these years, thirty years have passed in the blink of an eye.

    How many thirty years are there in one's life?

    Thinking about it, it seems that I really haven't done anything particularly successful.

    But there are no big ones, but there are quite a few small ones, right?

    Ha, when you say this, you are not confident, right?

    It seems that what Li Xiaolai said is right, sometimes, when one emotion cannot be changed, it can be replaced by another.

    Rather, when you are happy, there is no way to be sad.

    So in the same way, with the sense of superiority, the sense of inferiority will be replaced, right?

    The answer is obvious.

    People are born with a sense of inferiority, and they are also born with the instinct to pursue superiority.  But there are also two kinds of pursuit of superiority, one is the superiority that coexists with the society, and the other is the pursuit of personal superiority.

    Personal superiority requires too many prerequisites. How about the superiority that coexists with society first?

    Chu Lihua was trying to find a shortcut for herself.

    Adler also emphasized the role of social culture in personal development. He believed that excellence that coexists with society is the real excellence.

    Because although we are independent individuals, no matter how good one of us is, it is impossible to exist apart from society. Our achievements are all based on the existing resources of the society.

    This sense of superiority is to compare yourself, find that you have made progress, and find that you have contributed to society, which is somewhat similar to what we call vertical comparison.

    We have also said before that how to build your own self-confidence is to compare yourself with your previous self, not compare yourself with others.

    At the same time, other people's admiration for us is also the source of our superiority. This is easy to understand. Everyone hopes to be affirmed by others.

    at the same timeThe sense of superiority and uniqueness is also an important part of our core competitiveness. It may be our skills in our professional field, our unique personality, or our special experience before.  Nothing.  This is the superiority of pursuing social symbiosis.

    From this point of view, it seems that I have really made a lot of similar efforts before, right?  Although at that time these various nouns were not known.

    However, Chu Lihua still couldn't let go of her pursuit of personal excellence.  After all, we live in such a society where people make comparisons everywhere.

    To put it simply, this method is to gain pleasure by suppressing others, or to gain attention by showing off, to make yourself happy by criticizing others and making others unhappy, ignoring the needs of others, and not taking into account the feelings of others.

    ? For example, those who like to do some extreme behavior to sensationalize the public, the purpose is to make everyone pay attention to themselves.

    This kind of pursuit of superiority is actually called a superiority complex, which is to be conspicuous for the sake of being conspicuous, to be outstanding for the sake of being excellent, and the way to feel happy is to make others feel inferior and unhappy all at once.

    After being explained directly by Adler, Chu Lihua was a little embarrassed.

    I always say that Qing Yunfei is such a person, in fact, I may not have such thoughts.

    Even if a certain aspect is a little better than others, it will make me very happy.

    In particular, she was instilled by her mother to compare herself with relatives, friends and neighbors.

    man!  Although he talked about various ways of disliking his mother, he unconsciously imitated them in various ways.

    Adler believes that inferiority complex is the underlying driving force of human progress; heredity and other innate factors cannot determine the fate of people, everyone can achieve their goals through their own efforts, and can also achieve their own life by establishing cooperation with others  meaning and personal worth.

    Adler's ideas are based on his personal experience, and he has personally tested and tested them.

    At the same time, it is not a special case of a single case, but a self-contained school of psychology.

    Together with Freud and Jung, they are called the three giants.  (Remember the site URL: www.hlnovel.com
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