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Free Web Novel,Novel online - All in hlnovel.com -> Prose -> The Half-Blind Woman s Hero s Journey Chapter 953 What is needed is courage
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In this way, you don't have to muster up the courage to confess, and you can convince yourself even if you are rejected. More importantly, she can live in fantasy with the idea of ??"if the blush phobia is cured, I can also have love".
In fact, is it not a self-deception?
When everything goes wrong, I will blame everything on my childhood this and that, my eyes that and that.
But in fact, since psychology is so prosperous, it can be seen that there are actually many people who have the same experience as myself, or even worse than myself. Could it be that everyone is trapped in a certain realm and stops moving forward?
As for eyesight, is this the worst?
Of course, the blushing phobia just now was not imagined by her, it is real, but it is still the girl's own choice.
Through the examples and reflections just now, Chu Lihua reviewed Adler's core idea again.
Adler said that the reason why you are unfortunate now is precisely because you have chosen "unfortunate" yourself. The reason why you can't change is because you have made the determination to "not change".
Chu Lihua was frightened, she has been "working hard" to change, isn't it just to keep the frequency unchanged!
It's like "I won't be late" and "I'll be there on time," although the meaning is the same.
However, one is affirming the result, and the other is "changing"
In this way, the inferiority complex is "caused" by various reasons. Obviously it's a little ridiculous.
I still just remembered the secret, but didn't digest it.
Subconsciously, when I compare myself with others, the bad emotional experience caused by underestimating myself has always surrounded me.
It is said that Adler was the first person to explain "inferiority complex" in this way.
Adler used German, and the word in German also means "inferiority", which is a word about self-worth judgment, that is, feeling worthless and insignificant.
In Adler's view, in fact, everyone has an inferiority complex. However, low self-esteem is not a bad thing.
why? Adler said that we human beings live in this world as a powerless existence. Everyone wishes to be free from this state of impotence, so everyone seeks superiority, everyone yearns for progress.
Toddlers learn to stand in pursuit of superiority; they learn language and communicate with other people in pursuit of superiority; the continuous progress of science in human history is also the result of the pursuit of superiority.
It can be said that "inferiority complex" is a source of motivation for people to constantly pursue excellence. Inferiority complex makes people feel their own inadequacy all the time, so as to make continuous efforts to improve.
However, what Chu Lihua thought of was that we have met many people in life, and they became particularly negative because of low self-esteem. If they don't do anything, they decide they can't do it, and it's harder than anything to get them to change.
What's going on here? Adler said that this kind of situation should not be called "inferiority complex", but "inferiority complex".
Inferiority complex means that some people use inferiority complex as some kind of excuse. It's like thinking "I can't find a partner because I'm not pretty", or "I can't succeed because I don't have a good education".
This kind of conclusion that "because of a, we can't do b" is beyond the scope of inferiority complex and is an inferiority complex. Moreover, Adler emphasized that this inferiority complex is still your own choice.
Chu Lihua's closed eyelashes trembled. Why do some people "choose" an inferiority complex to be their own protective umbrella?
It is obvious that this kind of person is talking about people like me!
If I could answer in one sentence, it would be, just to "avoid being hurt in relationships with others". In Adler's view, interpersonal relationship is the source of all troubles and bad emotions.
why?
Just imagine what most people will do once they want to achieve the goal of "not getting hurt in a relationship". It's also very simple, you just need to become a person who only looks at your own shortcomings and tries not to get involved in interpersonal relationships.
In this way, as long as you hide in your own shell, you can have as little relationship with others as possible, and if you are rejected or hurt by others, you can use this reason to comfort yourself: because I have such shortcomings Will be rejected, as long as I don't have this shortcoming, I will be very likable.
It can be said that as long as one chooses to use one's misfortune as a weapon, that person will always need this misfortune.
Chu Lihua broke out in a cold sweat, thinking that she was working hard.?I changed everything that happened, but I didn¡¯t know that, in fact, I couldn¡¯t do without those misfortunes.
Such a self
What about Qing Yunfei? Obviously he is the exact opposite of himself!
In addition to the inferiority complex, there is also a common psychology called "superiority complex" for the troubles caused by interpersonal relationships.
It is to compare with others everywhere and fully show off one's own superiority. This kind of person actually wants to use the misfortune of others to show that he is "special".
They always want to overwhelm others in everything. Do you think such a person is happy? of course not. As long as he feels that someone has surpassed him, he will feel anxious and restless, and will even do anything to regain his sense of superiority.
See, anyone, as long as they are in this complex social network, will feel annoyed. So Adler said: "People's troubles come from interpersonal relationships. If you want to eliminate troubles, I am afraid that only one person can survive in the universe."
That kind of "superiority complex" that Chu Lihua hates so much What should Qing Yunfei do?
Just like Adler said, in fact, people like Qing Yunfei cannot be said to be happy.
No, Qing Yunfei felt that he was happy like that.
That¡¡
Adler believes that all troubles come from interpersonal relationships. It is not our past experiences that determine our present condition, but the meaning we attach to them. Everything about you is your own choice.
From this perspective, Adler's psychology is also a psychology about "courage". If you are a person who is trying to overcome challenges, if you are a person who is not satisfied with the status quo and is struggling to climb another peak in life, you need the courage to actively give meaning to the past experience, you need the courage to actively choose to change, You also need the courage to be hated in all kinds of relationships.
By the way, Qing Yunfei has this kind of courage!
Generally speaking, he actually doesn't care much about other people's eyes.
This is obviously a great advantage, but it's a pity that I let myself be misjudged as a disadvantage.
The biggest advantage is "misjudgment", and of course there is no merit. (Remember the site URL: www.hlnovel.com - Didn't finish reading? Add this book to your favoritesI'm a member and bookmarked this chapterCopy the address of this book and recommend it to your friends for pointsChapter error? Click here to report
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