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Free Web Novel,Novel online - All in hlnovel.com -> Prose -> The Half-Blind Woman s Hero s Journey Chapter 948 Always repeating the most annoying behavior?
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Qing Yunfei was surprised, what does your marriage have to do with me?
Meng Xianxiang just smiled and said nothing.
Some people! If I don't see her fulfilling her lifelong happiness, I will still miss her in the end.
Moreover, Laneige is not ready yet.
Although, she has now admitted her identity.
When the two men were lost in thought, Chu Lihua read a passage that sent a chill down her spine.
It is said that this is a true story.
A father in his 40s is an accomplished university teacher. He was not depressed, nor did he show any signs of mental disorder.
But his mother was sick and dying, and his colleague was diagnosed with a serious illness, but he didn't feel anything about it, and he didn't know how to communicate with his children.
He loves his daughter so deeply, but he is very worried about whether he can bring her happiness. He was distressed and didn't know why this happened.
When the psychotherapist asked him about his childhood, he found that he had very few memories of his parents. All he could think of was that they were very "knowledgeable"; but they never cared about his thoughts and feelings, and they only focused on their achievements at work. and "Right and Wrong in Action".
When his father died when he was a teenager, his mother didn't even talk to him about it.
The question finally has an answer. It is precisely because of his severe lack of emotional communication in childhood, and the emotional alienation between his parents and him that he has lost the ability to deal with emotions, and it is the correct handling of emotions that can allow a normal parent-child relationship to be established.
?The father's childhood experience prevented him from forming a positive interaction with his children.
The reason why Chu Lihua's back felt cold was that although she had "learned" a lot of parenting experience from various books.
However, what Chu Lihua can do is companionship and some simple interactions and responses.
Can she really do this?
Perhaps, it was because she hadn't experienced too much parental love, so facing her own child, it was natural for her not to go to Qing Yunfei, a father who is now an embarrassing status.
Children's emotional intelligence seems to be developed at a very young age, right?
Did you develop it gradually when you were with your parents?
Although I have achieved interaction, has this interaction conveyed information about the development of emotional intelligence to the children?
Relationships directly affect brain development, so it is our experiences, especially childhood experiences, that shape our brains, shape our thinking, and influence the way we raise our children.
For example, in the example of the father we mentioned just now, childhood experiences affect his relationship with his children. Chu Lihua shuddered at the thought that a similar experience might happen to herself and her children.
For example, does a certain behavior of a child always irritate you? Did you find it unbearable to see him yelling through the hall and staining the freshly mopped floor?
Or when he insists on pestering you with one more story before bedtime, you get so angry you want to hit someone? And you don't know why you can't control yourself all the time.
Although I held back. However, I always feel that this is clearly a pirated version of getting along with my parents after I was taken home when I was a child, because I resisted the "roaring", while my parents at that time, in addition to roaring, also added sticks and corporal punishment to serve ¡
Psychologists believe that only by having a deeper understanding of one's own experience and resolving the untreated trauma in the early years can a warm parent-child relationship be created with a healthy mind. This is the so-called inner-out parenting method.
Can't wait to solve one thing after another, Chu Lihua's confidence in turning over the book became stronger.
At the same time, I am no longer limited to the paper books I bought.
E-books on the Internet, various platforms, one-year membership fee is the price of two or three books, it seems very worthwhile.
Since the close relationship with Qing Yunfei and the family relationship with his parents are temporarily unable to start
Then let's start with the parent-child relationship.
It just might fit the "inner child" and "inner adult".
After reading for a long time, a parenting book that has been best-selling in the United States for more than ten years
It's not that they worship foreign countries and foreign countries. Western countries have indeed studied a lot of knowledge about these aspects for a long time. More thorough.
Each parent's past experiences will affect the way she raises her children.
Just like the example of the father I saw just now, the indifference of his parents in childhood caused his numbness to feelings as an adult.
Just like my mother and grandmother, it extends to my mother and myself.
This may be an extreme example, but there are still many typical examples in life. Because past problems have not been properly dealt with, after becoming a parent, these unpleasant experiences will pop up in certain situations and affect emotions and behaviors. , and then repeatedly affect the parent-child relationship.
For example, the example of Mary was mentioned at the beginning.
Every time Mary takes her child to buy shoes, she ends up having a very unpleasant quarrel, because she always encourages her child to choose the shoes she likes;
But when the children really chose a pair of shoes, she began to pick on whether the shoes were of bad color or style, and then devalued the shoes as worthless.
The children were very excited and wanted new shoes, but after several blows, they began to compromise, "Mom, you can choose whatever pair you want."
So Mary picked up two pairs of shoes, compared them repeatedly for a long time, and finally chose a pair before leaving the shoe store.
However, the kids were too exhausted to be excited about wearing new shoes.
Did Mary do this on purpose? Not really. But she just couldn't control herself, every time like this, after returning home, she had to apologize to the children.
But she didn't understand why she kept repeating behaviors that even she hated?
Repeating the behavior you hate
Chu Lihua remembered that she always knew that cheap goods were not good, but somehow she always stocked up a lot of things that looked cheap but were actually not very useful, and might even be useless at all.
Because of this, Qing Yunfei often ridiculed himself.
It's so similar, Chu Lihua is reading a book now, and while reading, she is putting on her own life. It is estimated that only in this way can she change her "past" little by little.
Otherwise, I have seen it and remembered it, but it has little to do with me.
The book gives an explanation that this behavior is related to Mary's frustration experience when she was a child.
There are 8 brothers and sisters in their family. Every time her mother takes them out to buy shoes, she has to rush to the big sale. The mall is full of people. She always chooses shoes in a panic. The new ones are too expensive, and my mother is reluctant to buy them. , so Mary can't always buy the best one.
Her mother was also very reluctant to spend money, and was always very angry, so the thought of buying shoes was very painful for Mary. (Remember the site URL: www.hlnovel.com - Didn't finish reading? Add this book to your favoritesI'm a member and bookmarked this chapterCopy the address of this book and recommend it to your friends for pointsChapter error? Click here to report
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