With a rejoicing attitude, Chu Lihua continued to read.
"The second way is to be consistent with a group of people, with the same clothes, the same customs, and even the same views."
Yes, yes, yes, Chu Lihua nodded again and again, that's it, that's why couple outfits are always so popular, even milk tea and Dong Ge are no exception.
Also, this is why I always feel a sense of alienation when Qing Yunfei does not progress with me, it seems that this is not close.
There must be an answer below, Chu Lihua looked up at Qing Yunfei who was on the sofa in the distance, "We will soon find a way to advance and retreat together."
Chu Lihua said in her heart.
Since I belong to this group, I am no longer alone, this is convergence.
Such groups were originally blood-related ethnic groups and tribes, and later developed into nations and countries.
To this day, we still often use this method to resolve loneliness.
Remember when we were young, how afraid we would be "out of the group" and be excluded or even bullied by other students in the class? This is the convergence effect.
So that¡¯s the case, no wonder I was always excluded by my classmates when I was young, because they were classmates who went to school together, and I was a transfer student who came out halfway.
However, this cannot be changed!
"The third way to achieve unity and harmony is creative labor."
Just like a painter creates a painting, or a carpenter builds a table, in this process, the laborer and his object become one, and man and the world come to an agreement.
For example, in ancient China, there was a saying that "artists should achieve the state of forgetting both things and me when painting", which actually refers to the state where the boundaries between the creator's subject and the object and object are eliminated and unified with each other as mentioned by Fromm.
However, in Fromm's view, none of the above three approaches can fundamentally overcome loneliness and solve the problem of human survival.
Why?
Let me talk about longitudinal ~ desire first. The unity achieved through indulgence is temporary. Once the drug wears off, the person wakes up, and the sense of loneliness reappears, so the indulgent person has to repeat this process again and again.
What's more terrible is that the culture we live in does not encourage this kind of indulgence. Alcoholism and drug use will make people feel guilty and guilty, aggravate his sense of loneliness, and the gain outweighs the gain.
There were three thousand beauties in the harem of the ancient emperors. Could this be the reason? No wonder they always claim to be widows, and the heights are so cold!
As for the way of convergence, it seems that the effect is very long-lasting, but this way will cause people to lose their individuality and live like a robot.
Is it worth giving up on yourself in order not to be alone anymore? The answer is obviously no. And the sense of security gained by attaching to a group is actually false.
This approach was also strongly criticized by Fromm in his other book "Escape from Freedom".
To be honest, this kind of convergence, a feeling of catering to others, and loss of self, all this will no longer make sense, right?
So what about the third type, creative labor? This is a very positive attitude, which Fromm also agrees with.
But the problem is that this can only solve the unity of people and things, but cannot bring about the unity of people and people. So there are still flaws after all.
So, in what way can we truly, permanently, and comprehensively realize the unity among people?
The answer, Fromm said, is simple: love. Only love can narrow the distance between people, allow them to achieve a new combination, and truly overcome loneliness and fear, and find the meaning of their own existence.
Therefore, regarding the first question, Fromm believed that the fundamental problem of human existence is to overcome loneliness and regain unity.
In order to solve this problem, various attempts have been made, such as indulgence, convergence and creative labor.
However, what we want to achieve is temporary unity, what we get through convergence is false unity, and creative labor is not the unity between people.
Only love can realize the union between people and answer the question of human existence. This is also the essence of love.
So, can the combination of people be called love? How can we discern true love? This is the core issue that Chu Lihua cares about.
Regarding this issue, Fromm believes that we obviously cannot generalize. Because the way people combine is actually different.
This is also a matter of definition. If we define love as "a mature answer to the problem of human existence", then there must be a relatively immature form, and?? is the form of what is known as a "symbiotic organism".
A typical example of this combination is the relationship between the mother and the embryo in the biological category.
The fetus is a part of the mother, it depends on the mother, and also obtains a sense of security from the mother; the mother protects the fetus, and she is also sublimated by the existence of the fetus.
In symbiotic unions in human relationships, however, this interdependence is often psychological.
Fromm pointed out that symbiosis is of course necessary for fetuses that lack the ability to survive on their own. But for human-to-human bonding, the relationship isn't so rosy.
Because it will make people lose their independence and integrity. The association of symbiotic organisms takes two forms: passive and active.
The negative form is like a fetus. It must rely on a protector to free itself from loneliness, otherwise it cannot survive.
This kind of person never makes a decision, does not take any risks, lacks assertiveness, and obeys orders. He was never alone and never independent. He is not a whole person, just an unborn fetus in a sense.
As for the positive form, it is dedicated to controlling the other person, making the other person a part of oneself and getting rid of loneliness. This kind of person can't lose the object of his control, otherwise he will feel that he has lost his power.
In daily life, this kind of relationship often disguises itself as love, but Fromm said that this is not love, because in the process of this union, both parties lose their independence and integrity.
! ! ! ?
If you say that, then it seems that this is really not love!
¡ª¡ª"It's time to cook again, what do you want to eat tonight?"
Quotations from Qing's family, time always says age.
Think about it, if he can persist in cooking for himself for a long time, it is better than cooking for himself.
Perhaps, I am really too selfish.
The love she seeks is actually a symbiotic relationship.
This is obviously the period of motherhood and infancy, and there is no differentiation in the heart, so the duality and ternary relationship come!
It's ridiculous to think about myself, obviously people just don't want to be with you in everything, how come you have risen to a new height?
¡ª¡ª"There are hairtail fish, shrimp, and" in the refrigerator
Qing Yunfei opened the refrigerator and read the ingredients to Chu Lihua.
¡ª¡ª"I want to eat fried octopus, you can choose the one you like."
Chu Lihua interrupted Qing Yunfei. (Remember the site URL: www.hlnovel.com