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Chapter 758 Wrong starting point

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    ?

    ¡ª¡ª"Wellthen I'll eat a stewed prawn! Haha, it's just that the two of us are getting fat. We eat these every day. It's no wonder we're not fat."

    After Qing Yunfei took out the ingredients, he closed the refrigerator.

    ¡ª¡ª"In the past, you were the only one who was fat, but now we are a husband and wife! However, all this is due to my dear husband, thank you! Prepare three meals a day for me!"

    Chu Lihua raised her head, looked at Qing Yunfei and said.

    ¡ª¡ª"Go, go, don't give me these stupid people, you can continue to read your book."

    Qing Yunfei waved his hands in embarrassment to cover up.

    Chu Lihua lowered her head and thought, since the symbiotic relationship is not love, what is the real mature love like?

    Fromm said, "That is to realize the integration of two people into one on the basis of maintaining the integrity and independence of the self.

    This kind of love is positive. It can break through the barriers between people and help people overcome loneliness and fear, but at the same time, it can keep both parties loyal to themselves.

    Such love is a kind of giving, not taking.  In the process of giving to each other, the two parties awaken each other's inner vitality and gain happiness and satisfaction. This is the beauty of love.  "

    Is to give, not to take?

    It seems that I am more asking for it, right?

    Chu Lihua reflected on her past.

    "This kind of positive love also has the four basic elements of love, that is, care, responsibility, respect and understanding.

    If you love someone, then you should care about him, not ignore him.  Of course, love also means a sense of responsibility, and it means the responsibility behind the vows of a lifetime, rather than an emotional game that can be exited at any time.

    But people who love each other should also respect each other, otherwise love will be reduced to control and slavery.  When you love someone, you should respect and accept him for who he is, instead of just asking him to be what I want him to be.

    And true respect is based on mutual understanding. If it is not based on understanding, then care and responsibility will be blind.

    ?It will only seem hollow and ridiculous to talk about vows between lovers who have only known each other for a few days.  At the same time, only love can make people really understand a person deeply.  "

    From Fromm's discussion on love, Chu Lihua suddenly realized that the love he said was not limited to the love between men and women, but included all the positive unions between people in the world.

    Whether it is the love of parents for their children, the love between men and women, or the love for all mankind.

    Because in these loves, the four elements mentioned above are all available, but each has its own prominence.

    For example, in maternal love, the element of caring is the most prominent.  As Fromm emphasized at the beginning of the book, love is not a matter of object, but a matter of ability.

    A person who has the ability to love can not only love one person, such as his child or lover, but can also love the people around him, and even all mankind. This is fraternity.

    So, what kind of person has the ability to love?  That must be a mature person, a person who knows how to give and give, who knows how to care, respect and know the object of his love.

    This, first develop your own personality, develop a creative tendency, right?

    Only such a person can conceive and create love in his heart, and can continue to give love to others and even the whole world, right?

    This ability is certainly not innate. To a newborn baby, loving is equivalent to being loved.

    And only after experiencing growth and development, will he understand that love is not only about being loved, but also actively loving others.

    I have been stuck at the level of being loved. I always feel that I lack love, so I should look for love. In fact, I didn¡¯t think about it. I should learn how to love others first; the effect of force is mutual, so that others can be like you  Learn to love you better.

    This is the real reason why Fromm called love "an art", because its maturity requires corresponding efforts.

    The love in Fromm's works is not the vigorous and desperate passion, not the indulgence of lonely men and women to fill the loneliness, not the control of treating others as playthings, nor the madness that makes people lose their minds.

    The love he mentioned is rational and mature, contains responsibility and respect, and pursues the unity of people without losing its own independence and spiritual joy.

    Is this just the words of his family?  Not really.

    Philosophers and sages throughout the ages have a lot of resonance on this issue.

    For example, the British philosopher Russell once said, "True love is completely different from the lord's complacency. It makes the spirit happy, but?? is the pleasure that only satisfies instinct.

    Only satisfying the instinct and the spirit at the same time is an indispensable factor for a happy life, and the most wonderful passion between men and women can be produced from it.  "

    Doesn't this coincide with Fromm's point of view?

    ? True love involves care, responsibility, respect and recognition.

    Fromm's description is indeed desirable, but is there such love in our era?

    Chu Lihua calmed down. In Qing Yunfei's words, you can't listen to the wind and rain, and you can't blindly accept any theories and opinions. You must learn to have your own thoughts and judgments.

    To verify its authenticity and operability.

    After all, Fromm does not live in our time. His observations and descriptions are aimed at the Western industrial society in the 1950s and 1960s.

    He pointedly pointed out that love in Western industrial society has declined, and mature love has become a rare phenomenon.

    The reason for this is that it is a society where production and consumption are the highest norms, a society where all activities are subordinate to economic means.

    In such a society, people themselves are commodified and become machines that only know how to exchange and consume. In that case, how can love be alone?

    In such an industrial society, people no longer regard love as a matter of ability, but a matter of objects.

    Looking for a love partner is like going to the market to buy goods.  Just like a pair of shoes, as long as they are beautiful and high-end, people will buy them.

    Many people have the same attitude towards love. As long as I am handsome, or beautiful and gentle, I will naturally be popular in the love market, and I will not worry about finding a partner.

    Moreover, how can love show signs of dying?  There are all kinds of love dramas in our movies and novels, and love is always inseparable from pop songs, and urban men and women are even more keen to talk about love.

    The words related to love are more overwhelming than before.

    In this regard, Fromm's view is that these loves that appear in the eyes of the public are actually just false loves, and they are vain forms left after the decline of true love.

    Looking back, it seems that in the era we live in now, many phenomena are not too different from those described in his book.  (Remember the site URL: www.hlnovel.com
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