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106 Doubt leads to regret

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    ?

    "Hey, I can only wait for the results to come out." I sighed helplessly, said "goodbye", and hung up the phone directly.

    It is estimated that the thoughts in my sister's heart are not too different from mine.  Due to the deterioration of my father's condition, my view of the attending physician is gradually changing.  From the initial trust and gratitude, it has evolved into the current suspicion and complaint.  Now, I doubt whether the statement of the attending physician at that time was objective.  I know that the income of attending physicians is closely related to their performance.  Therefore, it is very likely that before I signed, the words of the attending physician were suspected of "bewitching and misleading me to decide to operate".  If the attending physician hadn't intentionally or unintentionally emphasized that "from the right side, the success rate of the operation is more than 90 percent", then at least I would not have signed so soon.  Now, I am somewhat complaining about the "recklessness" of the attending physician (before, I regarded him as a brave and careful doctor).  Does he have surgery as long as there is even a slight possibility?  As for whether the operation would do more harm than good to the patient or whether the benefit outweighs the harm, did he never think about it at all?

    Originally, the impression of the Municipal People's Hospital in my mind was already extremely bad.  As an attending physician in this hospital, his character is naturally worthy of my doubts.  Enticing the patient's family members to sign for the sake of profit, using the knife indiscriminately for the sake of income regardless of the resultthese are definitely very possible!  It was precisely because I had doubts about the character of the attending physician, so whether it was true or not, anyway, the more I thought about it, the more frightened I became.

    Such a large tumor is just stuck at the critical point where it can be operated. Has the attending physician never been in contact with such a situation?  Seeing such a tumor, did the attending physician at that time have his eyes full of light?  Great, the opportunity to practice has finally come!  Anyway, with the signature of the family members, any surgery would be risky anyway, so even if it really failed, as long as it wasn't a serious mistake, there was always an easy way for him to get out.  Therefore, as long as you can deceive your family members to sign without any trace, you can not only generate income for yourself, but also accumulate experience well.  Besides, what if my adventure succeeds!  Then won't you be able to win the reputation of the world for yourself!  How can the attending physician not "do his best" for such a beautiful thing that kills multiple birds with one stone?

    It's just that I don't know if this Wupin attending physician has considered for the patient and his family.  If others regard your father as a guinea pig for experiments, if others regard your father as a tool to gain fame and fortune, how would you feel?  In fact, in today's rapid economic development, why do most people feel tired?  I personally think that it is because many people are blinded by fame and fortune and become selfish people who only think about themselves.  Unscrupulous things for fame and fortune happen from time to time.  Therefore, at the moment when material desires are rapidly expanding, people have even become suspicious and guarded against each other to the point where everyone is in danger.  "Don't talk to strangers!" has almost become the consensus of everyone.  A passer-by fell down, is there anyone who dares to help?  Of course, if you were the one who got bruised from the fall, then you can only "support yourself".  Please don't expect that someone will come to help you.  Living in such an environment, I don't feel tired, which is actually a strange thing.  Driven by the tide of the market, the economy has developed, but morality has been lost. Is this a good thing or a bad thing?  Maybe the benevolent sees benevolence and the wise sees wisdom.  However, for the Municipal People's Hospital, which is generally "deficient", what I feel is the incomparable disgust from the bottom of my heart.

    Maybe I judge a gentleman's belly with a villain's heart, but no matter what, my impression of my father's attending physician has been extremely bad.  I really regret it, why didn't I think about it carefully before signing it, why didn't I ask my wife's cousin for advice?  However, I know that because the relationship is far away, my wife's cousin is not very concerned about his father's affairs.  Otherwise, many times, what he said would not be so ambiguous.  At critical moments, it is false to expect others.  I even had such absurd thoughts as "why don't I study medicine?"

    I also remembered what Nanjing expert Xing Haiyan said (Why are there two scars? Why is this scar so long?).  If my father went to Nanjing for treatment, he would relapse in the end, but at least he would not suffer as much as he does now.  I know that what my father hopes most now is that the scar will no longer hurt.  In my opinion, the final result is the same, but there is one less scar and the scar is smaller, so the pain will definitely be much less.  My father's current extremely painful situation may be caused by my wrong decision-making.

    Thinking of this, I just feel pain in my heart.  I really regret it, why did I stop insisting and take my father to Nanjing for treatment?  Why do I respect my father's advice so much at the most critical moment?  If I had known this before, at that time, even if I tried to fight, I would send my father to Nanjing!  Why did I go to Nanjing after learning that my brother-in-law and sister were not available?Is the belief shaken?  Could it be that I can't do my best for my father?  As long as my father can recover, no matter how hard and tired I am, what is it?  Why, under my cousin's persuasion (even if you don't think about yourself, you have to think about your wife and children), would I change my original decision to go to Nanjing because of funding issues?  Could it be that father's life is less important than money?

    My mind was in a mess, and all kinds of thoughts came flooding in.  The more I think about it, the more I feel sorry for my father, and the more I think about it, the more I regret it.  I really should stick to the belief of "doing my best" to the end!  I should desperately take my father to Nanjing for treatment.  Perhaps, after going to Nanjing, my father would not be in the current crisis.

    In the complex emotions of self-blame and regret, I finally made it to the second day.  At ten o'clock in the morning, I came to the Municipal People's Hospital with anxiety.  Miracles didn't happen.  My little hope, which was almost equal to zero, was finally completely shattered.  I stared blankly at the result, and I knew, "Father has indeed relapsed!"

    As soon as I left the laboratory department, I couldn't help but slapped myself twice.  Asshole, what an asshole I am!  The recurrence of my father's esophageal cancer stemmed from my "wrong decision to perform surgery in the Municipal People's Hospital".  I was wrong!  I killed my father!  At that time, I had the urge to never forgive myself for the rest of my life!  (Remember the site URL: www.hlnovel.com
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