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Chapter 943: Is History Really Similar?

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    ?

    Wu Zhihong may not be the end point of Chu Lihua's study of psychology, but it is indeed the starting point of her study of psychology.

    Since we can't reach the end yet, let's fully understand the starting point.

    Right now, it is better to understand thoroughly the joy between myself and Qing Yunfei, whether it is a copy of the joy with my parents.

    Say familiarity is love at first sight.  Chu Lihua suddenly remembered that when Lin Daiyu first entered Jia's house, Jia Baoyu's heart was already moved at the first sight of Lin Daiyu, and he also said to others that he felt like Lin Daiyu, "It's like seeing Lin Daiyu somewhere."

    The first sentence he blurted out was, "I have seen this sister before."

    "A Dream of Red Mansions" explains this "seen" as "marriage in a previous life".

    However, the feeling of "previous life" might not come from childhood memories deep in my mind.  After all, childhood memories are mostly blurred.

    In addition, sometimes we attribute some repetitions that cannot be explained clearly to fate. For example, Chu Lihua has been in love several times, but no matter how different the people are in terms of education, family background, and appearance, they all have the same love.  She has a very bad headache.

    In the end, she herself had to think that this was her destiny, that she could only attract such men.

    But the truth of the matter is that most of us spend our lives doing the same thing over and over again.

    Otherwise, how do you say "history is always surprisingly similar"?

    An epigram that Chu Lihua often hears, "Don't fall twice in the same place", is called an epigram because too many people can't do it.

    Many psychologists believe that the so-called fate is actually psychological compulsion to repeat, and the root of all these pattern repetitions is childhood.

    So Wu Zhihong said that the meaning of reincarnation of love is to relive the beauty of our childhood, or correct our childhood mistakes.

    This might as well be a plausible explanation.

    After understanding that love is a kind of reincarnation, it is not difficult to understand that Chu Lihua has her reasons for any choice she makes.

    Forgot which book read a special case:

    There is a woman named Justin Moss who has loved listening to stories about murders and murderers since she was 4 years old. She even once carved the word "murder" in English on her back.

    And when she was 32 years old, she finally got her wish and married the notorious murderer Tom Neeson at the time.

    For ordinary people, such an approach is not only incomprehensible, it is simply appalling.

    In fact, before Tom Neeson, Moss also wrote love letters to three other very famous murderers, but they failed to spark a small spark of love with Moss.

    What is even more surprising is that the clinical psychologist said that this kind of urge to marry a murderer is actually not uncommon at all.

    Girls with this kind of impulsiveness will have a particularly bad childhood. Their fathers are generally very bad-tempered people, so they have experienced domestic violence since childhood, which left terrible memories for the girls.

    However, girls who have had such experiences will develop a special kind of ambivalence. On the one hand, they hate their father deeply, and on the other hand, they easily like violent men.

    Therefore, according to Wu Zhihong's point of view, the reason why they like murderers is often to correct their childhood mistakes. In childhood, they can't change anything, but when they grow up, they want to make decisions for themselves and use love to influence the perpetrators of violence.

    Use love to influence?

    Is it to influence the current Qing Yunfei, or the stubborn parents?

    Or, is it actually me who is obsessed with it?

    There are three main reasons why love can hurt others: one is to find that the person in front of you is not the perfect lover you imagined in your heart;  .

    As for these three, Chu Lihua felt that she had taken them all.

    Perhaps, it is more appropriate to start with Qing Yunfei, which is easy to obtain.  After all, the time is much shorter than that of parents.

    And the similarity seems to be true.

    At the beginning of every relationship, the object that both parties love is not the reality of the other party. To a large extent, we project the model of the perfect lover in our minds onto the other party.

    Don't newborn babies also think that their parents are their perfect parents?

    For example, for Xu Zhimo who had seen it before, Lin Huiyin was the perfect goddess of love, freedom and beauty projected in his mind, but Lin Huiyin saw it through early on. She once said to her son Liang Congjie:??"What Xu Zhimo loved at the time was not the real me, but the Lin Huiyin he imagined with the poet's romantic emotions, but I was actually not the person he thought in his mind."

    This is the person who sees clearly.

    After the love period, we will soon find that the real lover is completely different from the fantasy lover, so we will long to turn the real lover into a fantasy lover, but the real lover must not be willing.

    The same is true for parents, the imaginary parents no longer exist, and they always try their best to

    Conversely, lovers also have the same requirements for us, and we are unwilling.  As a result, the two had a lot of disputes and conflicts, which is why love hurts others.

    At the same time, if both parties in an intimate relationship do not listen to each other's wishes, but only focus on fighting for the commanding heights of power and trying to change the other's true will, it will also make the relationship particularly painful.

    Isn't it the same for children and parents?

    In the movie "Avatar", if the Na'vi people want to communicate emotionally with the six-legged horse or the bird Ilanka, they only need to insert their braids into their braids.

    It's a pity that in our lives, there is definitely no such a convenient way. We can only keep expressing our feelings, hoping that the other party can understand, and then establish a certain degree of emotional connection.

    However, if both parties make no effort to perceive the other's feelings, but just blindly send out their own signals and judge the other party with their own value standards, it will never be possible to establish this kind of link.

    To give an example that often happened in the lives of Chu Lihua and Qing Yunfei, she complained to Qing Yunfei: "The weather is really hot, and the cooling effect of the air conditioner is so poor."  And the husband replied, "I told you not to buy such a cheap air conditioner a long time ago. No way, let's replace it with a good one."

    With Qing Yunfei's high voice, he can basically judge the direction of the subsequent conversation.  At the very beginning, Chu Lihua would say, "Isn't a good air conditioner free? How much money do you earn to afford a good air conditioner!"

    Qing Yunfei will also start to feel wronged and fight back, "No matter how little I earn, I still earn more than you, and it's not enough to afford a good air conditioner. Moreover, this home is not my home alone.  "(Remember this site URL: www.hlnovel.com
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