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Chapter 898 It's Difficult to Empathize

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    ?

    Chu Lihua and Liu Xingting talked a lot about their childhood. Suddenly, Liu Xingting grabbed Chu Lihua's hand, "Let me be the father of three children, okay? Your brother is going to have a family after all."

    Chu Lihua was a little overwhelmed by Liu Xingting's sudden confession.

    ——"It's not because of you, it's because of those children. I don't know if you can find a father who is devoted to them. However, I guarantee that I will be able to treat them as my own.

    I have eaten that kind of bitterness, and I will definitely not let them eat it again.  "

    Chu Lihua's complexion instantly turned pig liver-colored, co-authoring, not because of herself!

    What the hell

    Although……

    Aiya, I go!  I don't even know how to express my complicated mood now.

    Having stabilized and calmed down, Chu Lihua said lightly, "Liu Xingting, didn't you just say that you didn't plan to get married? Why did everything change in a blink of an eye?"

    Even the divorce judgment has not been issued yet, and I am going to remarry, this word

    ——"Liu Xingting, this is because we are not in a hurry. Lanzhi is still in the hospital, let's go and have a look together. There is also the household registration of the child you mentioned. I have to tell Lanzhi about such a big news. Let's see  What on earth is she thinking.

    ? After all, they are all children who have worked hard to give birth. How can you say that if you have registered with someone else's family, you will have registered with someone else's family.  This, we have to figure it out, right?  After all, you delivered that little life yourself, what do you think?  "

    What Chu Lihua said finally brought Liu Xingting back to his train of thought.

    After the two checked out, they hurried to the hospital.

    After arriving at the hospital, Chu Lihua dismissed Meng Xianxiang, and told Lanzhi the news she got from Liu Xingting.

    ——"Oh, they are really anxious, the child's household registration has been completed."

    Lanzhi's tone sounded neither great sadness nor great joy, it was very flat.  But there's a hint of sarcasm in it.

    —— "Co-authoring this matter, you know."

    ——"Let me make a call and ask them. Chuchu, is it convenient for you to avoid it?"

    For Lanzhi, this is equivalent to exchanging her own children for money, which sounds a little not what a mother should do.

    After biting her lower lip, Chu Lihua got up and left, she had to respect Lanzhi's thoughts.

    After Chu Lihua went out, Liu Xingting just came to look for her.

    ——"How is it?? Is there any result?"

    Chu Lihua shook her head, "She said let me come out and solve it by myself."

    ——"Chu Lihua, what kind of friends do you think you have made? Your brother is really interesting. His girlfriend is pregnant with someone else's child. The child was taken away as soon as it was born. Poor child, there is no mother at birth.  gone."

    The more Chu Lihua listened to this, the more she felt that Liu Xingting must have had some influence on his cognition and personality due to the shadow of his childhood.

    This seems to be somewhat similar to myself.

    Pulling Liu Xingting to the corner, Chu Lihua lowered her voice, "Did you have an unfortunate childhood? So, there is always a kind of paranoia towards these children, and you want to use your own strength to help them as much as possible, so as not to suffer from your childhood."  ?”

    Liu Xingting did not answer, but his body froze obviously.

    ——"Chu Lihua, don't bring the problem to me."

    ——"Xing Ting, I understand you. I understand you too!"-

    "What do you understand?"

    ——"I know that it is impossible for everyone to fully empathize with other people; however, you should also be able to feel that I also had an unfortunate childhood. So, in general, I can understand you."-

    "That's different."

    ——"No, the principle is similar. Now there is a very popular term called family of origin. I don't know if you have heard of it.

    Most of the original families are poisonous.  It can be roughly divided into four types, namely:

    There are four types of parents: childish, manipulative, verbally abusive, and physically abusive.  And I, very honored, accounted for the latter three.

    If you are interested, I will talk to you in detail later.  But now, I plan to tell you how to resolve and change the pain caused by our original family.

    The first step is self-assessment.  The purpose of this step is to understand the extent to which your parents have influenced you.  The self-assessment here can be carried out from two aspects.

    The first is to assess your personal life status.  For example, do you dare notAre others too close, are you a perfectionist, do you always feel that you are an unlucky person?

    In general, what a 'toxic family' hurts most is a person's sense of self-identity and worth.  There are problems in this area, and most of them have something to do with their parents.  "

    Liu Xingting, who was a little irritable just now, gradually began to calm down.

    He listened attentively to what Chu Lihua was saying.  Feel it quietly.

    ——"In addition to your personal life status, you also need to evaluate the current interaction with your parents. A good parent is a gardener who teaches children to be self-reliant and then let go in due course.

    As for the 'poisonous' parent, it is a vine that has been tightly entangled to the sapling since it was young.  As the sapling grows, the vine will only wish to maintain this tight entanglement.

    You may be at their mercy as you were a child, or you may rebel.  But does this rebellion counteract the parental influence?  Most likely not.

    There is such a typical case: there is a large software company whose boss is named Jonathan, who has a house, a car and a business.

    His problem is that he was still single until he was forty or fifty years old, and he felt very uncomfortable when he thought that he would die alone in the future.

    Someone asked him, 'You have such good conditions, why have you never made any progress in your personal relationship?  ’ He said, ‘I don’t know either.  I just really dislike my mother's spreading my love, constantly teaching me this and that, who wants to talk about this kind of thing with her all day long!

    Whenever I approach a woman and think that I might marry her next, I feel so panicked, it's like my mother is standing next to me and pointing.

    Hey, don't you want me to get married?  Then I will not end.  '

    Having said that, you can understand.  Jonathan couldn't resist refusing to do everything his mother asked him to do.

    He was so obsessed with rebelling against his mother that he ignored his real needs.  Therefore, being too rebellious is the same as being too submissive. In essence, you have not gotten rid of the interaction mode set by your parents. Parents are still controlling your feelings and behaviors in disguise.  "

    What Liu Xingting thought was that he was obviously too indulgent and ignored it, letting himself fend for himself.

    Why do children who have always been loved by their parents have such a strange psychology?

    He didn't plan to tell his true situation yet, he planned to continue to listen to what Chu Lihua had to say next.  (Remember the site URL: www.hlnovel.com
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