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Chapter 1142 Unforgettable

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    After this brief meeting, Lin Rui went to the training ground to find Lincoln.

    Lincoln was sitting there alone and did not express any surprise when he saw Lin Rui coming over.  She just smiled at him and gestured, "Back?"

    "Yes, I'm back." Lin Rui smiled and walked over and sat next to him.

    "Is the actuary okay?" Lincoln asked.

    "It's pretty good. He's a little injured, but he should be fine. It's just that one of his eyes was seriously injured before. I don't know if he can fully recover." Lin Rui shrugged.

    Lincoln was silent for a while and asked, "Have you gone to see Fatty Long?"

    "Why do you ask?" Lin Rui took out a cigarette and handed it to Lincoln.

    Lincoln took it and bit it in his mouth, "He must have told you that I want to quit."

    "Speaking of this, I was just going to ask you, why?" Lin Rui frowned.

    "I don't know. Maybe I woke up one day and suddenly realized that I was tired of everything." Lincoln sighed, "There are only six of the dozen brothers who debuted with me now. I still don't know.  I know how to face it. Every time a brother leaves, I feel like I am exhausted. It feels like I myself have died."

    "I understand. It's not like I haven't experienced it before." Lin Rui was silent for a while and said.

    "I find that I may not be able to bear this anymore." Lincoln whispered. "I feel that I am becoming more and more hesitant and not resolute enough. Many times, I am even a little scared. We all know that in a real battle, this  It will mean something, it will kill the brothers." He took a deep breath of cigarette and exhaled it heavily.

    "This doesn't seem like what you said." Lin Rui frowned and looked at him.

    Lincoln waved his hand, "Yeah, I don't know why I'm so decadent. So it's better for everyone to leave as soon as possible."

    "Tell me Lincoln, what's going on?" Lin Rui looked at him and said, "If there are any difficulties, maybe we can help."

    "You can't help! No one can help!" Lincoln shouted suddenly, "No one can help me, no one!"

    Lin Rui stared into his eyes, frowning slightly, and suddenly he grabbed Lincoln's wrist.  He whispered, "How long?"

    "What do you mean?" Lincoln looked at him and asked.

    "What medicine are you taking and how long have you been taking it? Answer me!" Lin Rui shouted sharply.  "Your pupils shrink as small as pinpoints, unless you take some medicine!"

    He knows very well that only narcotic analgesics can produce such effects.

    He is also very aware that the most common injuries on the battlefield are injuries caused by bullets or shrapnel penetration. These injuries can cause massive blood loss in the human body. Blood loss can lead to cardiovascular atrophy and death from shock.  Those narcotic neurological drugs can dilate the cardiovascular system in a short period of time, accelerate blood flow, and prevent shock and death caused by blood loss.

    But this kind of narcotic analgesic can also cause severe dependence and gradually become addicted.

    "It's been a long time. It was originally used as an analgesic. We all know that stuff can be addictive." Lincoln smiled hard, "But I need it to keep me in shape"

    "Fuck you!" Lin Rui grabbed him and shouted, "What on earth are you thinking? Drug addiction?! Is this the reason for you to leave?"

    "Yes! Because I can't hurt my brothers, I can't let them die because of me, it's time to leave." Lincoln pushed Lin Rui away, "Save some face for me, don't tell this matter. Hello everyone.  So loose.

    I am a soldier who is extremely addicted to war. I have suppressed my heart for a long time, hoping for a pure light to illuminate the beliefs I once insisted on. Unfortunately, my beliefs are no longer there, and even myself has been lost.  "

    "Fuck your excuses!" Lin Rui punched Lincoln to the ground and said in a deep voice, "Think about your team members, they all put their lives in your hands! You deserve them by doing this  Anyone? Think about those dead comrades, are you still a person?"

    "I don't count, that's why I have to leave." Lincoln wiped the blood from the corner of his mouth.

    "You can't go anywhere, you have to quit this thing. Otherwise you won't be able to live a normal life when you go back." Lin Rui grabbed his shoulders and said in a deep voice, "It's okay, you can get through it."

    "Can I? When we were originally stationed in northern Iraq, we never knew where our real enemies were. We fought day and night, but we didn't know where these enemies came from, why they came, and we didn't know ourselves.  When will he die because of this?

      A confused war created a group of confused soldiers.  We are confused about our future, confused about our beliefs, and confused about the meaning of our participation in this war.  Justice or injustice no longer matters so much.

    Because war itself is a kind of narcotic, which can make people extremely addictive.  Once you become addicted, you will forget everything else and just want to continue to feel the addictive pleasure and be unable to extricate yourself.  I shouldn't have come back alive, I should have died on the battlefield.  "Lincoln lowered his head.

    "That's all over. You can start over. You have a chance." Lin Rui hugged his shoulders and said hard, "We will help you. You are no longer in Iraq, nor are you in the recovery ward of a military hospital.  .You're in St. Keizer, our own place, fighting for ourselves. You can get away from the drugs, just like you get rid of the bad memories of the past."

    Lincoln stood up and shouted, "I am the best soldier, and I was once proud of it. I am not a thug or executioner. I do not kill civilians, women and children. But the battlefield is so cruel, and how many civilians died because of us?"  Death. However, I still received commendations from my superiors. Such repeated battles and commendations made the rules and morals in a peaceful world no longer so important.

    Until we gradually began to doubt the rules and ethics on the battlefield.  But I couldn't change it, so I started numbing myself with drugs.  I didn¡¯t want to live like a beast, but I still became a beast.  "

    "I don't know what kind of past you have endured, but it has passed." Lin Rui whispered, "We are walking on another road now. A different road that gives us the opportunity to reflect and repent.  , let us become better. We no longer fight for the country, we only fight for ourselves, for your family and friends, for your living and dead comrades. You should live well."

    Lincoln leaned down and knelt on the training ground, "I can't forget it, just like an addiction to narcotics that I can't get rid of. The only thing I can do is to leave alone."

    "You can't go anywhere. I never give up on any of my comrades, no matter whether they live or die." Lin Rui said solemnly.

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