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Listening to the sound of water in the bathroom, Cheng Yuan sank into the sofa and threw the two boxes of condoms away.
He looked at the living room, which was not too big. Li Yao¡¯s clothes were piled everywhere. Clothes and shoes were the most numerous. They were neatly arranged. It looked like the work of the cleaning aunt.
Li Yao is not good at housework and has no talent like cooking. She is usually busy with work and rarely has time to rest, so she is more willing to spend her energy on things that cultivate her sentiments, such as growing flowers and cooking tea.
He didn¡¯t care, he didn¡¯t care much about the trivial details in life, and he never thought about asking Li Yao to pay more for it than him. Anyway, there will be an aunt at home to clean and cook, and their little life has been going smoothly, never worrying about trivial matters.
Speaking of differences, one thing is probably more obvious - eating.
Cheng Yuan had a meal at Li's house, and he thought it was the most heartwarming dinner he had ever had.
The family gathered together and did not treat him as an outsider. They only picked topics that interested him.
The professor and his wife are funny in conversation. From time to time, Li Yao would joke with Li Xingzhou in Shanghai dialect, fearing that he would not understand, so he would translate for him after the joke.
Fang Yue¡¯s Shanghai cuisine is exquisitely prepared, and the soup is even more fragrant and fragrant. He had little appetite, but he drank two bowls of soup that day under the warm hospitality of the Li family.
Li Yao told him that because Li Xingzhou felt sorry for Fang Yue and had to worry about three meals a day, since she was very young, their family has only had one meal in the evening.
After hearing this, he felt that Li Xingzhou was an excellent husband. Not only is Li Xingzhou not a man who leaves all the housework to his wife, he is also particularly considerate of the hard work women put into the family.
Li Yao also told him that her father was her standard for choosing a mate. He once thought that this was the reason why Li Yao had followed Zhou Yang for many years.
Although Zhou Yang is like Li Yao's teacher, his tolerance and care for her are like that of an elder. With Zhou Yang's family background, if Li Yao marries him, he will definitely live a life of ease and avoid the hard work of running a household.
When he was packing the courier to return the engagement ring, he heard Li Xingzhou mention Zhou Yang a few words, to the effect that Zhou Yang, as a Shanghainese, accommodated Li Yao and learned to eat spicy food.
After hearing this, he reflected a little and found out that he was indeed perfunctory in his dietary life and had many taboos. Even Li Yao often didn't know what to eat and his appetite gradually weakened.
Li Yao eats very slowly. Sometimes she sits at the dining table alone and eats Chinese food prepared by her aunt, and she will play cartoons to accompany her. Since he was a child, there has been no sense of ritual in eating at home. During his eight years in Germany, his family did not provide much living expenses, and he developed a dull appetite, so he usually did not have the patience to accompany her to the end.
¡¡
Cheng Yuanbian thought about finding a bracelet in the seam of the sofa. He picked it up and saw that it was platinum and had a small dolphin on it. It should be Li Yao's new one. He had never seen it before.
Li Yao is a girl who loves beauty. Because she can make money and has a good family background, she never hesitates to please herself.
Countless times in the early morning, he heard Li Yao ask him where her earrings or necklaces were left. He knew that she had a lot of these things and she would buy them herself, so he never gave them to her.
He would like to buy her some other things, such as flowers, but she doesn't like them, and sexy underwear, which she doesn't like even more.
He suddenly realized that he wasn¡¯t actually very romantic, and he hadn¡¯t even learned to please her yet.
Li Yao likes to dress herself up very beautifully, but she never asks him "Am I good-looking?" She doesn't seem to care at all about his evaluation of her appearance.
Of course, she would not dress up as he likes just to please him.
He always felt that Li Yao cut his hair short last time because he was competing with him for the lipstick mark. She knew that he preferred her long hair.
¡¡
After the breakup, the house was empty. Cheng Yuan looked at everything in front of him with a sense of familiarity. Their little home has returned to what it was like when he lived alone, without any breath of life.
He sat in the living room every night and felt miserable every moment.
As the drunkenness gradually dissipated, Cheng Yuan played with the bracelet, his thoughts drifting further and further away.
Tonight, they were both consumed by alcohol. After being separated for half a month, their bodies couldn't hide their desires, and each of them lost control for a while.
When he came back, Li Yao's eyes when he opened the door were clearly awake. She closed the door and smiled at him: "Do you really think I'm joking?"
The sentences are cold and the emotions are real. Cheng Yuan immediately gave up his desire.
Since he saw her tonight, he has been focused on reliving old dreams with her. He does not deny that he is obsessed with her. After all, he had lusted after her photo last night.
She didn¡¯t refuse in the KTV, andThe reason why I can give birth to my own child is that I have a blood connection in this world. He said genes are very subtle and he hoped I could experience them myself. This is a regret for him and his mother, I understand.
But I found that I began to be afraid of the intimacy of bone and blood implants.
Why do people who are so close hurt each other?
I kind of want to go back to my parents.
I still think Shanghai is better.
August 8th:
Shirley said that my condition is getting better and better, and I am very happy.
It feels good to be single.
I just feel like I¡¯m getting older faster.
August 9th:
busy.
I accidentally heard the song "Floating Life" and found out the name of the song he sang.
Good night.
August 10th:
Today Fang Huai asked me if he and I had really broken up
After thinking about it carefully, yes.
We should live two different lives.
I still hope he can be himself, and so do I.
August 11th:
Still love it or not?
How do you define love?
Good night.
August 12th:
Why doesn¡¯t it rain in Beijing?
Work, work, work
There is nothing else to say.
August 13th:
Li Yao, are you still looking forward to falling in love?
August 14th:
I don¡¯t think Baxi is that delicious.
August 15th:
¡°It¡¯s so helpless, it seems like there is nothing but work.
But if I lose my job, what should I do?
August 16th:
Tomorrow is Chinese Valentine¡¯s Day, remember to call your parents to wish them well.
I envy my parents for their love and companionship throughout their lives. But I am not a soul like my mother, and I am destined not to meet a lover like my father.
You¡¯ve broken up twice this year. That¡¯s okay. Think about it!
¡¡
Fu Xiu said that Li Yao came here by knocking out his teeth and swallowing blood. The moment Cheng Yuan closed the diary, he seemed to realize what "he swallowed with blood" meant.
She never showed weakness, and her only vulnerability in front of him was that she couldn't sleep at night.
But in her diary, she seemed like a different person.
He actually didn¡¯t do it at all, and he didn¡¯t understand her true thoughts at all.
Including children, blood relations, family relationships, these are the most sensitive topics, she almost never shares them with him.
She is a person who has stepped through the quagmire and still chooses to face the sun, so she hopes that he will be happy too.
She said she didn¡¯t want to fall in love anymore, which was definitely true.
From recognizing her biological mother, to having conflicts with her parents, to breaking up with the man she had been with for many years, to meeting herselfshe was indeed tired.
But she was not the one who needed to reflect after the breakup.
Cheng Yuan¡¯s fingers touching the diary became limp and weak, and he suddenly lost the courage to pursue her.
He feels he is not worthy.
Li Yao slept peacefully that night, and it was already ten o'clock in the morning when he woke up.
It was raining outside the window, and the raindrops fell on the glass window, making a crisp sound.
Li Yao liked rainy days very much. He thought Cheng Yuan was still outside, so he said to the window: "It's raining outside."
No one responded.
She stood up and saw that the sofa was empty.
She thought Cheng Yuan had left, so she lay down again and prepared to be lazy for a while. As a result, when I turned around, I saw a few lines of writing on the note paper on the bedside table.
"You can be free now, but leave your future to me, okay? I'll love you again when I'm reborn. Don't really let me go, please."
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