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Chapter 2381 The sense of security must be given by oneself

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    Assistant Liu said that I donĄŻt understand women. Well, I would like to ask her how to understand women.

    I said: "You said I don't understand women."

    Assistant Liu said: "Women are mostly entangled when it comes to relationships. If they don't have enough sense of security, it will be difficult for them to enter the relationship."

    ItĄŻs about security again.

    I asked: "Oh, a sense of security means being her harbor and giving her a sense of security, right?"

    Assistant Liu said: "Too many men can't understand this thing in their lives. Security. What kind of security does a woman want? Only when she has a sense of security will she stay with her man all her life, doing laundry and cooking. But  The sense of security is too illusory and you men donĄŻt understand it.Ą±

    I said: "Yes, many times we really don't understand how to give her a sense of security."

    Assistant Liu said: "Women have seen too many joys and sorrows, and feel that security is a luxury. A woman's happiness is linked to security. If a man can give a woman a sense of security, then the relationship will be more than half successful.  "

    I said: "You are talking about the economic foundation and the ability foundation? Don't they have a sense of security? I know, you are talking about the emotional security, fear of betrayal, right?"

    Assistant Liu said: "When a woman feels a sense of security in a man, it is not because of the external conditions such as the man being tall, handsome, or having a good financial foundation, but because the man gives her the confidence to be entrusted to her for life, so she will be willing to be with him."  He is together. External conditions may be the reason why she falls in love with a man, but it is not the reason why a sense of security is born. It is said that the more clothes a woman wears, the more secure she feels, but the more men she associates with, the less secure she becomes.  , so sense of security is actually the classic standard for measuring whether there is love or not. A womanĄŻs sense of security comes from her love for a man, and a womanĄŻs love gives men a sense of security. Therefore, in the topic of sense of security, men are the source, and women  It's the master. When you want to establish a certain status in her heart, whether you can make her feel safe is actually the key to victory."

    I said: "Well, you are right."

    He Zhiling just couldn't see it from me and couldn't get the sense of security she wanted, so she kept a distant distance from me.

    Assistant Liu said: "Do you know what your biggest problem is?"

    I said: "What."

    Assistant Liu said: "What we women call a scumbag, especially a man who rides on two boats. You don't ride on two boats, you ride on many boats."

    I said, "I didn't. Where did I have it? I, I didn't talk to them."

    Assistant Liu said: "Ambiguousness counts. It makes them feel that they have no sense of security and may be betrayed at any time. Do you like this feeling?"

    Of course I won't like it.

    Assistant Liu said: "You have to figure out the boundaries between you and your other women."

    I said: "I don't understand. I know what to do, but I can't do it. Seeing those looks in their eyes, I can't really bear to let go of any of them. Right, I'm just a scumbag  I am a man, I admit it, I am."

    Assistant Liu said: "Both men and women should have their own circle of friends, but men who flirt with each other must be the most annoying to women. If you are embarrassed to refuse other women and cannot bear to refuse, then she will feel uncomfortable.  After a long time, they will reject you. They all hope that their men will always appear in their sight and hearing range. You can have your friends within the range that you can control, but you must let her know that you are with her.  The relationship between the friends and who they are should be communicated in advance, and both parties should give each other space on the basis of trust. Then you say a few sweet words to her, and that's enough. Can't you even do it?"

    I smoked a cigarette, let out a long sigh, and said, "I can't do it. I just can't let go. Even if they abandon me and reject me, let them go, but I still can't let go of the rest."  . My heart is like a knife being cut with ten thousand reluctances."

    Assistant Liu said: "Go and ask the women you like, do they want your money? Is it so difficult to give you a sense of security? Who is not afraid of being abandoned? No matter how strong Mr. Ming is, she will never evolve  From a human perspective, women are always weaker than men. Women always need others and the environment to satisfy them more than men. This is because women care more about a house, a stable job, and a stable person who will love her for ten thousand years.  Men. Especially men, a man who can possess absolute assets will give women a material sense of security, and a man who can promise to accompany herAnd men who fulfill their promises will give women more spiritual security.  Women themselves are entangled animals and need men to lead them.  They don't know right from wrong in their relationship, so you need to tell her.  "

    I said: "Does Mr. Ming still need a man to accompany and lead him?"

    Assistant Liu said: "Unless she doesn't like men anymore. A truly insecure woman doesn't even believe that these can protect her. So in life, she will be cautious, make money, save money, and buy a house in case of emergency.  . Test all kinds of men who approach her to prove whether they love her or not, and use gifts and other material things to verify whether men love her, because they do not believe that people and things will always be there. The lack of security will be very tiring,  They will be cautious, living on thin ice, and very lonely. They need to protect themselves at all times, remind themselves to verify their external appearance, and will not call themselves out completely. They cannot live openly and openly to others. They must keep an eye on themselves to protect themselves. When  She verifies that others are damaging to her, and if she fails to verify, she will hate, leave, or close herself off, becoming even more insecure and distrustful of others, firmly believing that only she can protect herself."

    I think of Sister Cai. Sister Cai is like this. She makes money, saves money, buys a house, and hoards valuable items.  Because Sister Cai is the most insecure person, she lives a life of fear of poverty, and she cannot get a sense of security from her family.

    No, Sister Cai is lacking in material security.

    The lack of spiritual security should be He Zhiling, Black Pearl.

    He Zhiling lacks a sense of security in relationships, and Black Pearl lacks a sense of security in those around her, especially her subordinates. Sister Cai also has this.

    ThatĄŻs why Black Pearl kept testing our subordinatesĄŻ loyalty to her.

    I said: "Verification, you have to understand one thing, Assistant Liu, the human heart cannot stand the test. Even if a person loves someone very much, or a man loves a woman very much, it will be difficult to withstand the test. And if you go  There are too many verifications. When a man knows that he has been verified and tested, his heart will become tired. If I were being tested, I would definitely think, since you donĄŻt believe me anymore, why do I still work so hard to be good to you? You  Have you ever studied psychology? This is the famous projective identification: a behavioral pattern that induces others to react in a limited way. That is, if you donĄŻt believe that he will always love you, you can always prove it to him after repeated verification.  I donĄŻt love you. The more insecure you are, the harder it is to find happiness. Because you are too sensitive, because you are too vulnerable.Ą±

    Assistant Liu immediately interrupted me: "So the real way to solve the problem of security is not to find a good job with an iron rice bowl or a very good husband. The iron rice bowl can be lost just like men.  There may be betrayal. The way to solve the problem of security is to get it from yourself. If you can withstand the betrayal of a man, you can withstand the loss of your job. A person who is very capable will never worry about not having a job. A person who is very charming himself  People who never worry about not having a partner.Ą±

    I said: "You mean if you see your partner cheating on you, you can immediately change to a better one?"

    Assistant Liu said: "Yes."

    I said: "If that's the case, Mr. Ming is very confident, so why are you afraid of others betraying you?"

    Assistant Liu said: "This kind of confidence is certainly not a blind charm. No matter how beautiful a woman is, there are still other women who are more beautiful than her. It is normal for her to be easily replaced and insecure. This kind of confidence comes from  Confidence in understanding your partner, no one will understand him better than you, and can soothe his heart better, so he will never and cannot leave you. This sense of security also comes from believing in love. Although love will come, it will also disappear.  , but love does not come from proof. Even if I have seen a lot of darkness, I still believe that there is love and kindness in the world. Love means that I believe that my correct efforts will be rewarded. Nothing can make people absolutely safe, except myself.  But there is never anything that makes you absolutely dangerous, except yourself. The sense of security must be given to yourself, and you are the one who can best protect yourself."

    I said: "Yes, you are talking about the person who can only protect yourself. I think that although you look soft and delicate, your heart for feelings is stronger than anyone else. You are like  What Bingbing said can bear all the consequences."

    Assistant Liu said: "If I met a man I liked like you, my first thought would be to give up and leave. But love is always a woman's weakness. She is afraid of stepping into it and can't get away. It's difficult.  .Ą±

    I said: "Then I shouldn't hurt her like this. If I can take revenge and destroy the Four Alliance Gang, I will disappear completely in front of her and leave the group."

    Assistant Liu looked at me and said, "If you don't choose her, this is indeed the best way to treat her. But are you willing to let it go? Even if you are willing to let it go, will she let it go? She can't let it go now."

    I said: "Haha, I can't bear to let it go now. There is always a transition process, and it will be fine slowly."

    ItĄŻll be fine, IĄŻm just trying to comfort myself.

    I guess that in the end, I wonĄŻt be able to get anyone, and I wonĄŻt be able to keep anyone. The only person who will accompany me is myself.

    Because I am a scumbag, because I donĄŻt want to let anyone go, because of the different status levels, because of various reasons (remember the website address: www.hlnovel.com)If you choose her, this is indeed the best way for her.  But, are you willing to do it?  Even if you are willing to give up, will she be willing to give up?  She can't bear it now.  "

    I said: "Haha, I can't bear to let it go now. There is always a transition process, and it will be fine slowly."

    ItĄŻll be fine, IĄŻm just trying to comfort myself.

    I guess that in the end, I wonĄŻt be able to get anyone, and I wonĄŻt be able to keep anyone. The only person who will accompany me is myself.

    Because I am a scumbag, because I donĄŻt want to let anyone go, because of the different status levels, because of various reasons (remember this website address: www.hlnovel.com
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