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thirty-three kisses

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    Fu Xueli comes to this cemetery every year at this time.  Holding in her hands the paper money and flowers she bought temporarily on the road, she slowly climbed up the stairs.

    There is an old black-and-white photo on the tombstone. A man and a woman are smiling. The man is handsome and the woman is soft.  They all have faces from when they were young.

    ¡ª¡ªFu Xueli¡¯s biological parents

    She stared at the photo blankly, blinking her eyes nervously, not knowing what to say.  Putting down the white chrysanthemum, she squatted on the side again, dazed for a long time.  It took a long time before I remembered to burn paper.

    "Dad" After a brief pause, he shouted with difficulty, "Mom."

    After the words were spoken, the soreness in my nasal cavity was unbearable, and the hot tears in my eyes finally couldn't help but fall.  She hurriedly raised her hand to wipe it carelessly, and said with a wry smile, "Actually, I know I may have done something wrong, but I dare to admit it today. Am I very cowardly?"

    "There is a fool who loves me very much. He loves me very much." Fu Xueli put her chin on her knees, curled up, lit the fire, and choked, "I always thought that he told me everything.  .¡±

    Fu Xueli felt her lips trembling, and she started laughing as she spoke, but her tears couldn't stop flowing.

    She knew that Xu Xingchun would not say anything to her, so she pretended not to know anything.

    But every word Ma Xuanrui said was like a heavy hammer, hitting her heart hard.

    Crush the layer of skin Fu Xueli used to deceive herself and use to comfort herself until it becomes a pulp.  The blood vessels and tendons all over her body felt like they were cut off, and all her internal organs were frozen.

    Fu Xueli had difficulty breathing, stopped talking, and paused for a while, "You may have made a mistake in giving birth to me. In the past few years, I feel like I have lived like a joke. I blame many people, my uncle, and you.  , I even complained about him. I complained about him, why I couldn¡¯t give him long-term love, so he would abandon me and disappear from now on.¡±

    "I'm so afraid of loneliness. I can't bear to leave him, but he hasn't come back for so many years." Fu Xueli felt salty tears falling into her mouth, "I also wanted to go find him, but I was afraid day after day.  I make ridiculous mistakes like yours.¡±

    "I just think he is suitable for a better girl." She buried her head deeply, "But I know, I dare not admit it. These are all high-sounding excuses that allow me to feel at ease and live a good life."

    Yes.

    Until now, Fu Xueli dared to admit that Xu Xingchun had never given up on liking her for so many years.

    Since she was a child, Fu Xueli has been able to see clearly who is compatible with whom and who is not compatible with whom.

    She knows that people from two worlds should not be together.

    This is something she has always understood.

    But she still failed Xu Xingchun for so many years.

    He was left alone and sad for so long.

    It was getting dusk in the blink of an eye, and Fu Xueli was the only one sitting quietly, insisting on watching the paper burn up.  It seems that as long as this fire burns out, the past will be clean and carefree-

    "Xu Xingchun, I've thought about it."

    The moment Fu Xueli finished speaking, there was no sound on the other end of the phone.

    She cried for too long, and her voice was completely hoarse. She paused before continuing, "If you want to hear it, I'm in Linshi, and I can come to you now."

    "Where are you?" Xu Xingchun asked.

    Fu Xueli insisted, "I'm coming to find you."

    After a while, they finally broke the silence and said a place name.

    ¡ª¡ªThe place where they broke up.

    It seems like many years have passed, and it seems like only a few days have passed.  Nothing about this university has changed, down to the familiar trees and buildings.  After seven o'clock in the evening, the street lights on campus come on.  There were many students coming and going in groups, and teachers and college students were mixed together, making it difficult to distinguish them.  Downstairs in the girls' dormitory, there was a couple who were hugging each other like glue and never separated.

    This is the university where Fu Xueli studied.

    The street lamp was dim, and the dim light blurred his face.  Xu Xingchun sat there, motionless.  Still wearing the police uniform that was a little dirty from yesterday, he was doing the same thing he had been doing day and night for many years.

    Wait for her.

    The moment she sat down next to Xu Xingchun, Fu Xueli was slightly invisible and trembling slightly.

    There is sticky water vapor in the air, making it difficult to breathe normally.

    The two people didn¡¯t know how long they were quiet, three minutes, five minutes, or longer.  She finally spoke, speaking very slowly.A permanent commitment, but afraid of admitting one's mistakes.  "

    Xu Xingchun took out his heart and gave it to her, but she couldn't see it and pretended it didn't hurt.

    sorry.

    I'm really sorry.

    ¡°So now she¡¯s going to get her comeuppance.

    For ordinary people, love means appreciation and enjoyment.  But to Xu Xingchun, Fu Xueli's love is food when hungry, it is necessary, it is the last life-saving straw.

    ???????????? What kind of mood did he have in letting her go?

    Immersed in such pain, even though I couldn't hold on anymore, I still didn't blame her.

    If Fu Xueli wants freedom, Xu Xingchun will give it to her.

    Fu Xueli said that she was afraid of being imprisoned, and Xu Xingchun's intense pain was covered up, as if nothing had happened, and she had to let go even if she died.

    She finally got her wish, but she never forgot him.

    ? ?Obviously not long has passed, but it seems like a century has passed.  Xu Xingchun sat quietly for a few minutes.

    There are a few scattered, unreal figures in the distance.  The lightbulb above his head grew dimmer. He tilted his head slightly and raised his hand to wipe away her tears.

    The movements are gentle and delicate, so familiar that it feels like you have done it countless times.

    Fu Xueli was stunned.

    Xu Xingchun found his voice and said calmly, "I don't want to hear I'm sorry right now. I just want to know that you have thought it through, so do you want to be with me."

    Whether it¡¯s guilt or not.

    ?????????? Love.

    Or maybe he just wanted to make amends, he admitted it all.

    Before she could react, the phone was taken away by Xu Xingchun.  The alarm clock was turned off one second before it sounded.

    She was drawn into his arms.

    Fu Xueli's voice was slightly stagnant, and she opened her mouth with difficulty, "I don't know how to love others."

    "I teach you."

    She said with a strong nasal voice, "I'm afraid"

    What are you afraid of?

    Are you afraid that their relationship will fall into the same trap again?

    ¡°I¡¯m still afraid that I will still trample on Xu Xingchun¡¯s sincerity.

    But Fu Xueli had a vague feeling that if she was with him this time, she might not be able to separate.

    Xu Xingchun¡¯s lips came to her ear slowly and gently, at a very low volume, hot and restrained¡ª¡ª

    "Fu Xueli, I'm not afraid, what are you afraid of?" (Remember the website address: www.hlnovel.com
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