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The result of hanging up the phone is that I can¡¯t sleep.
Ruan Si sat up from the small bed, lit a cigarette, turned on the bedside lamp and read his notebook by the bedside. Very thick notebooks are piled on the bedside table, recording every step and every trace of their time here. The documentary is divided into various units, and each unit has special copywriting. Their narrator, Shen Xiu, went to find Kong Jiabao, and he was an amateur. Shen Xiu seemed to regard this trip as a hobby, not the competition he mentioned today.
Ruan Si flicked the ashes from his cigarette, crushed out the remaining two-thirds of the cigarette, checked the time, changed his clothes, and went out.
It¡¯s still dark here at six o¡¯clock, but it¡¯s already popular. Ruan Si was wearing a down jacket, and when he was going down the steps, he saw Shen Xiu coming out to use the toilet.
"So early." Shen Xiu rubbed his arms in the cold air, "Where to go? Today's elementary schools are so tight that classes start before dawn?"
"Nervous." Ruan Si picked up his pocket and said, "Go out for a walk."
Shen Xiu looked at the sky and said, "Let's go together."
The two people came out of the courtyard and walked aimlessly towards the grassland. There is already smoke rising in the yurt, and the milkers have long since woken up. My feet were on the wet dry grass, and there were a few stars that were dimly extinguished above my head. The whole world was very quiet, the white-shouldered eagle was nowhere to be seen, the tip of my nose felt cold, and my mind was unusually clear in the early morning. There is an old Mongolian man who got up early sitting at the door of the yurt, holding a cup of scalding milk tea and singing a long and lonely Mongolian tune in the haze.
"Aren't you nervous at all?" Ruan Si asked Chen Xiu while blowing the cold wind.
"Don't be nervous." Shen Xiu yawned, "It's not worth being nervous Our original intention was just to shoot what we wanted, and it was just a matter of course to participate in the competition. I thought you were not afraid of anything. What's the matter, are you afraid of Mr. Chen?"
"It's meaningless to say you're afraid." Ruan Si said, "It's better to explain that we know there's a huge gap, but still can't stop the urge to challenge. I've watched the film that Mr. Chen wrote before, and I've also passed the high school exam questions. No need. Anyone comes to remind me of his reputation and badges. Just from looking up at the words, I understand that the gap is extraordinary." He paused, raised his head and exhaled, "Have you ever had that feeling? I admire someone or someone very much. Works, but you can't restrain your fighting spirit. In your eyes, these people or works are very good, so good that you are not only moved by them, but also excited by them. You can't help but think - maybe I can surpass, maybe I can side by side."
"Subtle." Shen Xiu commented briefly, and then said, "But coincidentally, I often feel this kind of self-conceited mentality. Unlike your 'someone', I just want to surpass 'someone'."
"I've been pounding." Ruan Si patted his chest, "It feels very exciting."
Shen Xiu was silent for a few seconds, "Pumping you won't fall in love with the old man, will you?"
Ruan Si: ""
"Your writing is very interesting." Shen Xiu changed the subject, "It's very different from the feeling you present No, it's better to say it's out of place. Before we sent you the email, we had always imagined what seat selection was. Such a person, but seeing you is completely different, breaking all speculations." Shen Xiu took a few steps back, looking at Ruan Si, "I chose to choose a seat to make this film, because your pen once brought me The sense of solidity as still as still water is the same as when I touch the land of Xinjiang. But then copywriting continued to be born, and your style gradually changed. It seems that it is no longer a calm brushstroke on the sidelines, but a strong investment in the long northwest wind. It's like soju, the smell controls your breathing forcefully."
"Oh." This was the first time Ruan Si was examined in person, and he was a little confused about what Shen Xiu meant.
Shen Xiuli stayed where he was and continued, "Compared to the original style, the current style is more suitable for this film. The land of Xinjiang has never been just one color. The multi-ethnic groups make it colorful and bright. You have Sometimes I often get stuck in the emotions written in my writing, and because I am deeply involved in them, I burst out intensely. The emotions are mixed in the words and come to my face, which is very contagious.¡±
"Thank you." Ruan Si continued to walk forward, slowly going up the slope, and he could see the endless scenery.
"You will have the thought of meeting Mr. Chen on a narrow road, not only because we bumped into each other in the game, but also because your style is gradually developing and you are just short of a chance to break through, and Mr. Chen makes you feel the same atmosphere. If today we are facing a cold and hard wind Mr. Xu, you won't be pounding like this." Shen Xiu stepped on the top of the slope. It was already dawn. He said, "This is an opportunity. You have been exploring yourself in your own world for the past four years. You are too You lack the hard work of a head-on opponent. Ruan Si, you are like a sword that has been sharpened now, and it is time to show its edge. But you can't find where your boundaries are, and you can't move freely, so you can't do it for a long time. Break through what you ask for. Mr. Chen is the best teacher."
&???I have never experienced hardship like this. He said expressionlessly, "I can't write Qin Zong." "
"You have walked a long way alone." Qin Zong inserted his fingers into his hair, caressing him intimately. They clung to each other like small animals, biting their ears in the corner of the jungle.
"I thought there was a further journey ahead." Ruan Si felt comfortable being touched and narrowed his eyes slightly.
"Of course you will." Qin Zong said, "You have never been conscious and you have always been running very fast."
"I want to cross over." Ruan Si heard Qin Zong's steady heartbeat, "over myself."
Qin Zong paused for a moment and lifted his hair away with his fingertips, revealing his forehead and eyebrows. Qin Zong lowered his eyes and looked at him, "Beyond this you, there will be the next you. You continue to transform over time, and you always have to keep making breakthroughs Isn't it difficult?"
"Yeah." Ruan Si closed his eyes tiredly.
"Actually, not at all." Qin Zong said, "You are still the same as before. You enjoy the process of writing and love the pleasure of writing. From the beginning to the end, it has not changed at all." He slid down, taking Ruan Si with him Lie down and "make peace with yourself."
Make peace with yourself.
Let all the feelings of the past, present and future be integrated into one pen because of love. If you master this pen, fill it with energy, and love this pen year after year, there will be no difficulty.
Ruan Si fell asleep.
In the morning, the curtains were opened, and the sunlight filled the whole room. Qin Zong was still sleeping under the quilt, so Ruan Si put on his shirt, then wore shorts and leaned cross-legged on the lazy sofa that had been moved to the balcony. His fingers moved rapidly across the keyboard, and the number of words on the document page increased rapidly.
¡°Fuck the game.
Nothing matters.
Nothing is as precious as the sunshine on the balcony, the dancing fingertips and the person sleeping on the bed behind you at this moment.
What is written should be the emotion of "I want to write, so I must write". He looked back calmly and looked at the traces he had left in every place in Xinjiang over the past four years. Every trace contains different emotions, and these emotions are all his. He does not need to panic or question. He only needs to listen to the command of this pen and speak frankly about his feelings.
Whether it is exquisitely carved or gorgeous, or simple and plain, all words that can leave a mark on people's hearts are sincere expressions of emotion.
The emotions are strong and public.
This is Ruan Si.
It¡¯s also a matter of choosing a seat.
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