I have forgotten how long it has been since I walked this path of origin with Goddess Su. Snowflakes the size of goose feathers floated in the night air, just like the petals falling in the breeze, falling on my shoulders and hers one by one. We walked side by side, looking at the scenery along the way, the lonely night and the hurried pedestrians, I don¡¯t know if this kind of life is the comfort and peace that I have been pursuing in my heart, the only thing that may be lacking is my love for her please.
"Goddess Su, I found out that you actually like to mess around." I glanced at her and said.
"What's the matter?"
"Why did you suddenly want to take such a weird photo with me, and you still smoke like others!"
Su Xuefei smiled, looked at me with some embarrassment and said, "Because I think this is closer to you and more meaningful."
Hearing her slightly witty words, somewhere in my heart was suddenly touched I don't know when it started, I seem to be used to such conversations with Goddess Su, and I don't know when the relationship between us changed. It's so good, from the beginning when I was like a passer-by to the indistinct intimate words now, I gradually got used to this kind of relationship, and what does this mean to me? What kind of position do I occupy in Su Xuefei's heart?
"Huh?" Su Xuefei seemed to have noticed the change in my expression, stopped and asked, "Are you feeling unwell?"
"NoGoddess Su, don't you have a man you like now?" I pretended to say, "As an old classmate, I have to remind you to seize the opportunity and start targeting a good man, rich and handsome!"
Su Xuefei looked up at me with some doubts, but then turned her head to look at the crystal snowflakes under the street lamp without saying a word.
"Well, don't think too much about it, what I mean isyou are such an excellent girl, it is right to take a long-term view. You will definitely be able to marry a very good man in the future, it must be the kind"
"Yang Chen!" Su Xuefei interrupted me loudly, turned her head and looked straight at me, with drops of melted snow hanging on her snow-white cheeks, which made me uneasy.
I have never seen Goddess Su talk to anyone in such a tone, nor have I seen her expression change because of anger. Maybe I really annoyed her inadvertently, but I don't know where I am wrong.
"Why do you have to torture me in this way?" Su Xuefei's state suddenly became a little bad, her tone was low and sad, "Is everything I do just like air that you can't notice? Or , you have been annoying me and avoiding me from the bottom of your heart, these days just treat me as a classmate?"
I stopped in amazement, but I didn't dare to look her directly in the eyes, and I didn't know how to answer her almost straightforward question. My heart is in such chaos at the moment, all relationships seem to be smashed and reorganized in an instant, what am I doing, and what should I do? Is it right or wrong to stick to those so-called ideals
"I know I'm not good enough I don't know how to please people, and I don't know how to interact with people in society, but I've been working hard" Su Xuefei put her hands on my shoulders, and her long soft hair fell on my shoulders. On the chest, "I always thought that as long as I work hard, I will definitely gain something. Everyone is educating others like this, isn't it? Then why it doesn't make sense to me"
"Yang Chencan you tell me?" Tears ran across her perfect cheeks, like a thin needle piercing into my heart, "I always thought we were a couple alwaysYang Chen, you What am I, can you tell me?"
I raised my head, but I saw Su Xuefei's eyes full of tears. I wanted to reach out to help her wipe it, but I was so stiff that I couldn't make any movements.
Su Xuefei and I were silent with each other. After a long time, I mustered up the courage to say: "I'm sorry"
I was wrong. I was wrong from the very beginning. Su Xuefei made it very clear, but I didn't notice it, but Feeling my conscience, did I really not notice it? Still have been escaping.
"Yang Chen, my heart hurts a little" Su Xuefei looked at me, smiling through tears, "I was injured, so it hurts a little, and it will get better gradually. It's okay, don't think too much about it."
"Listen to my explanation, I"
She let go of her hand, took a step back, shook her head, maintained the smile just now, and said softly: "I will go back tomorrow, these days Thank you for your hospitality, I am very happy!"
Lie! She is making up a lie that even she doesn't believe! I want to expose her, I wantI wantto keep her!
I wanted to reach out to stop her, but my whole body kept shaking. What happened to me
Su Xuefei wiped away the tears that had run across her cheeks, kept backing away, then waved at me, then turned around and stood on the side of the road waving for a taxi.
I stood where I was, and didn't even have the strength to take a step to see her off, so I could only watch her get in the car and leave.
Since the day she came to this snowy city, she has said that my relationship with me is what she calls a "couple relationship", but I have always regarded this as a joke, without thinking about it, let alone taking it seriously . But it was such an ordinary sentence, did she take it seriously? Is she a fool? I have been tempered by the society into what I am now. I have no time to sing, let alone the mood to sing. Why should I accept your feelings at this time
Su Xuefei looked very calm when she left, as if nothing had happened just now, just like when we first met, indifferent and disgusted with everything. Is it because I hurt her? I leaned against the electric pole on the side of the road, raised my head and looked directly at the lighting that hurt my eyes, and remembered what Su Xuefei said to me before, the only people who can hurt me in this world are those I care about
Me too, who does she care about?
My legs gradually lost strength, and I sat slumped under the street lamp, unable to feel the coldness of the outside world and the strange eyes of passers-by. I laughed, laughing at my ignorance, and even laughing at myself, Yang Chen, what the hell is he capable of? I want to protect, but always hurt, want to be beautiful, but always suffer. Do people like me really deserve to stay by your side?
Might as well be dead
I am like a trouble, whoever gets close to me will be in constant trouble, whoever I fall in love with will be hurt, why am I still living here like this, why do people always come to persuade me?
I stood up numbly, and walked forward aimlessly, in a daze, my world turned dark at some point, I couldn't find my direction, and even the little light I found just now dimmed. Shouldn't I be used to such a parting, why is it still like this at this time? My heart seems to have split into countless selves, arguing constantly, and my brain is numb and confused like being shocked by an electric shock.
Sitting on the edge of the pond whose name I can't remember, I was in a daze silently, looking at the frozen mirror-like pond, I felt lonely.
I always thought that without Luo Qing, I could still be strong because I had become mature and my heart was strong enough But now I understand that the reason why I can still stand there and talk about work, is that I can still live for the sake of life. To work hard to make money is only because of the group of people who love and protect me and protect me In fact, I have nothing at all.
"Luo Qing is gonewill not come back" I murmured, looking at the starry night sky and the falling snow without traces, talking to myself.
"First you, then you, and now you." I repeated my headless crazy words over and over again, stood up, took off my shoes and threw them into the pond.
There was no crisp sound of splashing water, nor did I see the cracked ice surface, my heart seemed to be a little twisted, why the hell did everything go against me! What did I do wrong to punish me and torture me over and over again! I fucking regret appearing in this world, how much I wish I can live freely
I randomly took out my mobile phone and threw it out. It hit the ice surface and made a "dong dong" sound.
"Voice, fuck, I want the voice!" I yelled frantically, forgetting the world and myself.
"Love because of love, affection doesn't have to be used for generosity" A series of familiar ringtones came from a distance, looking at the mobile phone with the screen on the ice, something seemed to come to my mind.
"It's Luo Qing, it's Luo Qing calling!" I kept telling myself, this is Luo Qing's call, it must be, she loves me, she still loves me, doesn't she? She is worrying about me!
I jumped off the pond and walked barefoot on the ice with a "creak" sound under my feet, but I fell in love with this feeling, indulgent, light, as if everything I needed was in the light not far away middle.
?It's too slowtoo slowI started running, I want to answer this call, I must answer it, it is very important to me
My foot slipped and I staggered and fell to the ground. Before I could react, there was a crisp cracking sound in my ear, and my body sank slightly. My ears and eyes were instantly filled with icy river water, and I struggled subconsciously. , but found that I was already in the darkness, and my clothes and pants became very heavy in an instant. I wanted to touch the ice layer above, but was pulled deeper and deeper by the river
In this river, I saw her, but I couldn't call her name. She walked up to me slowly, smiled at me, and said something. She waved to me and whispered in my ear, as if at this moment I forgot the pain in my lungs and the struggle in my brain that was about to explode, and watched her leave quietly.
Close your eyes, everything is overis thisthe freedom I want? (Remember the site URL: www.hlnovel.com)What. She waved to me and whispered in my ear, as if at this moment I forgot the pain in my lungs and the struggle in my brain that was about to explode, and watched her leave quietly.
Close your eyes, everything is overis thisthe freedom I want? (Remember the site URL: www.hlnovel.com