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Interlude - Anniversary

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    Today (November 1, 2015) is a special day because today is my father's anniversary.  On October 13th last year (2014), my father passed away due to ineffective rescue.  Perhaps, you will feel strange.  There seems to be something wrong with this time, right?  No, the time is absolutely accurate.  Because we calculate the date here according to the lunar calendar.  For a long time, my father's Yingqi and Duanqi are all in accordance with the lunar calendar.  Therefore, the 20th day of the ninth lunar month has become the eternal memorial day for the father.

    Yesterday, I had an appointment with my sister's family, so today, we got up early in the morning.  I can't remember the state of mind in the early morning, anyway, this morning, I went home with a heavy and depressed mood.

    On the way from the urban area to my hometown, I witnessed two car accidents.  This made me more aware of the impermanence of the world and the fragility of life.  In an instant, father's voice, appearance and appearance clearly appeared in his mind.  However, now, my father has been separated from us forever.  Thinking of this, an indescribable sadness welled up in my heart.

    Along the way, I always feel that the sky is gloomy, and it seems that God has been touched by my mood.

    My brother-in-law was driving the car, and I sat in the front row.  Logically speaking, apart from my brother-in-law, I have the widest vision.  But until I got out of the car, except for the scene of the two car accidents, I had no impression of other road scenes at all.  It seems that along the way, I have been in a trance.  I don't know if it's because of sadness, or because I'm constantly recalling my father's life.

    When I got home and saw my mother, I just came back to my senses.  Generally speaking, my mother's expression is quite normal, which makes me feel relieved.  Actually, today, what I am most worried about is my mother.  Because, I am very afraid that my mother will be reminded of her inner pain again on this special day.  Every time I see my mother's heartbroken appearance, I feel heartbroken.

    After finishing my father's affairs, I also let my mother stay in the urban area for a long time under the pretext of taking care of the children.  Because, I know, there are too many shadows of my father in my hometown, so the mother who lives here can easily feel the breath of my father.  The so-called, seeing things and thinking about others, how could mother not be sad at that time?  Besides, my mother is very old, so I am really worried about her staying in my hometown alone.

    It's a pity that my mother can't let go of the farmland that has accompanied her for most of her life.  The farmland is the lifeblood of my mother.  It is no exaggeration to say that the status of farm land in the heart of the mother absolutely surpasses that of her granddaughter.  In addition, my mother, who is used to living in the countryside, feels very uncomfortable living in a cage-like commodity house.  Of course I feel sorry for my mother, so I negotiated with my wife that if I can not bother the elderly, I will never bother her.  Picking up the children and most of the housework, as long as my wife and I can find time to complete it, we will definitely not let my mother do it.  However, in this way, the mother felt even more uncomfortable.  There wasn't much work to do, and I couldn't run around and chat like in the countryside. So, it didn't take long for my mother to feel depressed and panicked.  Finally, my mother clamored to go back to do farm work.  In the words of my mother: "It's good to stay at home!"

    As a child, can you not consider the psychological feelings of your parents?  So, I began to create opportunities for my mother to go home for a short stay.  Later, mother stayed at home longer and longer.  He only comes to the city for a day or two every week, or even doesn't come for several weeks in a row.  Alas, mother has the circle of life that mother is used to.  Although I am not very relieved, but I also do not have the heart to persecute her old man too much.

    Everyone worked together, young and old joined forces (busy for a whole morning), and finally, the most important moment came.  Put a table of meals, only put a chair, and put a pair of chopsticks in front of the chair.  These are all prepared for the delicious food of the returning father.

    "Don't forget to pour your dad a glass of wine!" Mother reminded in time.

    My mother's words reminded me of my father's habits during his lifetime.  The best thing about my father is wine.  Cigarettes, with incomparable perseverance; but, this alcohol, my father refused to quit no matter what.  In the words of my father: "In my life, the good things are 'tobacco and alcohol'. I have quit cigarettes. If I quit alcohol, what is the meaning of my life?" Therefore, in my impression  , Father drinks twice a day, that is absolutely unshakable.  From this, it is not difficult to see that although a year has passed, the mother still misses the father from time to time.

    When everything was ready, I found a candle and lit it.  (When we worship ancestors here, we always light oil lamps. Now, we don¡¯t use oil lamps, so candles are used instead. This is a custom when we worship ancestors here.) Then, I habitually put  He flicked out the match stick, and at the same time walked to another table in the main room.  The two tables were at least a dozen steps apart.  After putting the matchbox on the table, I went back again.  Go around the offering table and come to the gate.  I wanted to throw the match in my hand outside the door, but I saw yellow paper yuan beside me.?? (ingot made of yellow paper) container, so he threw the completely extinguished matchstick into the container.

    Indeed, at that time, I did not intend to light the yellow paper ingots, because, under the reminder of my uncle, I planned to let my father sit at the table and have a few drinks first.  Indeed, I paid great attention to the matchstick thrown into the vessel.  At that point, I was 100 percent sure that the match was completely dead.

    Next, I went to the kitchen and quickly brought over the steaming dumplings that my mother had just cooked.  It is said that the hotter the food enshrined to the ancestors, the more thoroughly the ancestors enjoyed it.  However, when I came to the main room again, I was completely dumbfounded, because the yellow paper ingots in the vessel had already started to burn.  Everyone said that it was because I threw the matchstick into it.  However, I clearly remember that the matchstick thrown in has been completely extinguished!  Even with a trace of spark, it wouldn't be so quick to ignite the yellow paper ingot, right?  Remember, it turned out that even if I directly lighted it with a burning matchstick, it didn't seem like the flames would burst out so quickly.

    Of course, at that moment, I didn't have time to figure out why the yellow paper ingots caught fire for no apparent reason.  In our place, this kneeling ceremony must be completed when the yellow paper is lit.  Therefore, I hastened to call everyone to come and bow down.  In the end, this very important worship ceremony was successfully completed without any risk.

    Afterwards, I always had the illusion that the yellow paper ingots were lit by my father.  Alas, is it because I have been writing about ghosts and gods these days?  I, who still firmly believe in atheism, can only explain it this way.

    After lunch and a short rest, we have to go to the father's grave in the field.  The mother said that when he was sorting out his father's clothes, a suitcase was left behind, and it was full of his father's clothes.  Therefore, taking the opportunity of the anniversary festival, it was taken to the grave and incinerated.  We have such a custom here that once someone passes away, all the clothes of the deceased must be burned on the day of burial.

    Opening the suitcase and seeing the clothes my father usually wears, things about my father immediately appeared in front of me one by one.  Father's voice and smile are so clear.  It feels like what I saw yesterday.  Until now, I can't believe that my respectable and lovely father has left us forever!

    Blocking!  I feel like my heart is blocked!

    Firstly, my mother was afraid that she could not control her emotions and cried bitterly on the stele; secondly, we were also afraid that my mother would be overly sad when she went to the field.  So, in the end, the mother didn't go.  It's just that my sister's family, my eldest uncle and my second uncle came to the grave.  The father's clothes and the sacrifices purchased by the elder sister, the eldest uncle, and the second uncle ignited a raging fire at the grave.  In the light of the fire, I vaguely saw the figure of my father

    We didn't return to the urban area until it was completely dark.  As soon as I touched the computer, I immediately started writing!  I want to record this special day, and of course, the most important thing is to permanently record the memory of my father!  Father, will be an indelible memory in my heart! (Remember this site URL: www.hlnovel.com
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