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004 So sad

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    The situation revealed by his wife was undoubtedly a heavy blow to his heart.  Under such a huge mental stimulation, my heart immediately sank to the bottom.  If it wasn't for fear of family members worrying, then I would never force a smile on my face.  After pretending to be relaxed and chatting with my wife and son's aunt for a while, I lay down on the small bed and closed my eyes to rest on the grounds of being mentally exhausted.

    Hearing the sound of footsteps going away, my heart began to stir.  I don't know how bad my condition has become.  Even the ancestors who passed away have already been dispatched, and I don't think I have a few days to live.  This in the end is why?  I have never done anything evil in my life!  Why did God treat me so cruelly?  In today's medical technology is quite developed, even a small esophageal tumor can take my life!  This is obviously God punishing me!  But what did I do wrong?

    After complaining for a while, I started thinking about my family again.  My wife is illiterate, and hardly knows anything except farming.  Once he leaves, his wife will no longer have any income.  Fortunately, sons and daughters are relatively filial.  Come to think of it, after I leave, they should take better care of their mother.  But, I am afraid that without my company, my wife will feel very lonely.  Although in normal life, I often make noise because of some trivial things, but I really want to be separated forever, and I really feel a little bit sad in my heart.  I don't know if my wife has the same idea in her heart at the moment.

    The next thing I thought of was the children.  They all have a stable job, and they don't need to worry about life (economics).  Now, the only thing I am worried about are the two little guys (grandson and granddaughter).  However, children and grandchildren have their own blessings.  Judging from the smart appearance of those two little guys, their future should at least not be worse than that of their parents.  The daughter's baby is grown, and they've been picking up and dropping off their own for a long time.  Presumably, after going by themselves, they can still cope with it.  The son's children are relatively young, and he has been relying on his wife to help him to and from school before he was hospitalized.  I am really worried, will my son and daughter-in-law be able to keep busy without the help of his wife to take the children to school?  After all, they have to commute normally every day!

    Alas, there is one very bad thing about my wife, that is, "short-sightedness".  In the eyes of my wife, the most important thing is the three-acre land.  For the work in the field, she is likely to give up everything including helping her son pick up and drop off the children.  Before, I didn't know how many times I scolded her!  But that old woman is a deadhead!  She couldn't figure it out at all, what is the purpose of our busy work?  If the future generations are delayed, what is the point of our busy work?  This is the one question that worries me the most!  Once she went like that, without her own nagging, the old woman would have to intensify, wishing she could spend all day in the field!

    After sighing helplessly, I thought of myself again.  I don't know how long I can last.  If we can't make it through today, wouldn't we not even be able to eat "hare meat"?  If I go there without my last wish being fulfilled, I don't know if I will become an innocent soul?  It is said that wronged souls cannot be reincarnated.  I hope that I will never become a ghost that harms the world.  In the case of not becoming a ghost, in fact, it is not necessarily a bad thing not to be reincarnated.  At that time, I can be with my loved ones all day long.  Although I can't communicate, as long as I can keep looking at them, I will be extremely satisfied.

    It's just that I don't know if this ghost is real?  Isn't atheism popular now!  According to the concept of atheism, after the person dies, consciousness disappears completely.  Thinking of this, I couldn't help shivering violently.  Because, I don't want to completely disappear from this world.  Thinking of such an ending, one can't help but feel frightened.

    What is popular is not necessarily good.  I'm not a firm believer in some shitty atheism like my son is.  You say that ghosts and gods do not exist, so why are there so many strange things in the world?  I remember the year when my father was diagnosed with cancer.  As usual, at the end of the year, our family also started making steamed buns.  But, that year was really weird.  The same place, the same utensils, the same method However, among the five or six families, only my family's noodles failed to ferment.  At the end of that year, I happened to be at home.  At that time, I just didn't believe in that evil, and then weighed out the same amount of flour, blended it by myself and put it in yeast, and then sealed it in one place.  However, this time the flour still failed to expand.  Therefore, that year, although our family also made steamed buns for the Chinese New Year, they looked a little shriveled and obviously much smaller than other families.  At that time, I was still arguing with the people who made steamed buns together. I didn't think this phenomenon indicated that something would happen at home.  However, within a few days after that, his father wasIt was found that he had liver cancer.  From then on, I gradually began to believe in ghosts and gods.

    Especially in the past few days, the ancestors are scrambling to whisper in my ear, how should this be explained?  Therefore, this science is not omnipotent. There are many strange things in the world that cannot be explained by science.  If science is so good, why can't it cure my cancer?  Therefore, I will not be as superstitious as my son, and I will not believe in atheism.

    Fortunately, I don't really believe in atheism, otherwise, wouldn't I feel even more uncomfortable now that I am on the verge of death?  Although the voices of the deceased ancestors often sound in the ears, it will make people feel creepy, but now that I think about it, this frightening nonsense still sounds a little kind.  At least it made me realize that after I passed away, I would not really disappear completely, but would turn into an undead.  That is, although the body disappears, the soul still exists.  It's just that I can no longer survive in this world in the future.  The Revenant has a world of the Revenant.  I don't believe it. In another world, with my ability, I can't find a place to settle down?

    Thinking of this, I couldn't help feeling a sudden enlightenment of "seeing the bright moon through the dark clouds".  Immediately, the heavy mental pressure caused by his wife's suggestion was swept away.  Now, I don't feel how unfair God is like before.  After all, I can live more than this life.  Thinking about it, if I have done a lot of good deeds in this life and almost done no evil deeds, I should not suffer in the underworld and in the next life.  (Remember the site URL: www.hlnovel.com
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