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116 Abnormal state of mind

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    Due to the complete failure of the last persuasion action, we went home this weekend, considering my father's mood, we never mentioned the matter of traditional Chinese medicine.  We tried every means to change patterns to cook food for father.  I don¡¯t know if it¡¯s because we¡¯re in a good mood or because the food we cook is delicious. Anyway, through my mother¡¯s mouth, we know that my father¡¯s food is obviously better than the previous few days and eats more.  In our spare time, we just spend time with our father.  Or chatting, or just sitting in silence.  I can feel that other people (sister, brother-in-law and wife) cherish this rare time together as much as I do.  Although it is not stated clearly, everyone actually has such a worry, that is, they are worried that their father may

    When I was at home on the weekend, I noticed that my father's Chinese medicine pills were about to run out.  Therefore, on Tuesday, I had to embark on a journey to Nanjing again.

    With the experience of last time, I didn't go too early this time.  After getting up at six o'clock and washing up as quickly as possible, I immediately went downstairs and walked to the entrance of the community by myself.  Because I knew that there should be business at this moment, so I didn't ask my wife to send me off.

    Sure enough, as soon as I arrived at the door, someone came up and asked if I wanted to take a taxi.  I asked about the price, and seeing that the man asked for the same price as a taxi, I got into the car very readily.

    When I arrived at the station, it was 6:20 in the morning.  After buying a ticket to Nanjing, I hurried in, just in time for the ticket inspection.  Feeling pretty smooth today.  Maybe that's a good sign.  Thinking of this, I feel even better with hope.  Actually, I am not superstitious.  However, under the special circumstances at that time, I, who was only thinking about my father's recovery, inevitably became somewhat idealistic, because I really hoped that my father could survive this disaster.  Although I don't believe it, I keep praying.  Even if there is only one ten-thousandth hope, I will work hard and try.  In fact, many of my thoughts and actions have nothing to do with my own beliefs.

    I desperately hope that my father will make a miraculous recovery.  It is precisely because of this urgent desire that I have strange thoughts and behaviors that I can hardly understand after the fact.  I have always been educated in atheism, but I actually hate feudal superstition.  I once made my mother burst into tears because I didn't allow burning paper during the festival.  However, after I matured, I felt that this was not unacceptable as a traditional way of commemorating my ancestors.  But until now, I still sneer at the act of praying to God and worshiping Buddha.  In my opinion, instead of seeking help from illusory gods and Buddhas, it is more realistic to rely on one's own efforts.  However, now, as far as my father is concerned, I feel that no matter how hard I try, I cannot succeed in saving my father.  Although I pin my hopes on traditional Chinese medicine, I know that such hope is actually very slim.  It is precisely because of this mentality that I am not as strongly repelled as I used to be to praying to gods and worshiping Buddha.

    When my mother told me, "She wants to take my father to some kind of Buddha to make a wish and ask for an elixir", I uncharacteristically acquiesced.  At that time, I still had a little hope in my heart.  What if there really are gods?  What if the mother's sincerity can really move God?  What if the gods really appeared to save them?  ¡­even the staunchest atheist cannot prove that gods really do not exist.  Therefore, at that time, I really hoped for the existence of gods, and I really hoped that the gods that might exist would be merciful and save my father.  There are many mysterious things in this world, which humans have not really understood yet.  It's just that the gods don't exist.  (Although I have the mentality of going to the doctor in a hurry, I still feel that the help of the gods is a bit illusory after years of atheism education.) Maybe such a ceremony can generate some kind of resonance, thus triggering some mysterious power in nature.  Maybe, this mysterious power just happens to be able to save his father.  Otherwise, how to explain the strange phenomenon that some people around us who have been sentenced to death by modern medicine miraculously get better?

    It is the kind of strong family affection that is hard to let go that makes my thoughts undergo subversive changes that are difficult for me to understand, and such changes are only short-term.  In hindsight, my weird thoughts at that time were nothing more than hoping that a miracle would happen to my father.  It's just that my weird thoughts and behaviors failed to trigger the mysterious energy of the universe, and weirdness and miracles are two different things.  In the end, the miracle did not appear.

    But anyway, the "good omen" I thought this time made me come to Nanjing in a relatively good state of mind.  In fact, the trip to Nanjing this time was indeed relatively smooth.  Before 9:30, I rushed to the Jiangsu Provincial Hospital of Integrated Traditional Chinese and Western Medicine, and successfully registered for the expert account.  Since I was late, I didn't have to wait too long in the hallway before it was my turn.

    Xing Haiyan still had a smile on her face.  After my brief explanation, she was immediately impressed.  This can't help but make me secretly admire his extraordinary memory.

    When he asked about his father's recent situation??I said sadly: "My father's condition is not very good recently. Especially in spirit, I feel that it seems to be gradually developing into a bad aspect. The most troublesome thing for me is that my father is now determined not to eat  Chinese medicine!"

    "Why doesn't the elderly want to take traditional Chinese medicine?" Xing Haiyan asked suspiciously.

    "My dad insisted that taking Chinese medicine would make the whole body feel weak. We didn't know if Chinese medicine really had this side effect. So, I left it to him." I replied helplessly.

    "No! Chinese medicine has no such side effects! Then, have you taken the Chinese medicine pill I prescribed?" Xing Haiyan frowned while thinking.

    "I take traditional Chinese medicine pills every day. It is because the pills are about to run out that I came here to prescribe more to take back." I answered truthfully.

    "In fact, the composition of the Chinese medicine pills is relatively close to the Chinese medicine I prescribed. If there is no such reaction after taking the Chinese medicine pills, it means that the problem of body weakness is not caused by Chinese medicine. (I think what she said is very reasonable,  So I couldn¡¯t help nodding my head when I heard this.) Well, after going back this time, I took two less Chinese medicine pills at first, and then gradually increased the amount. If there is no body weakness, then it must be related to Chinese medicine  It has nothing to do with it." Xing Haiyan explained very patiently.

    "Well, well, when I go back, I will let my dad try this way." I replied very cooperatively.

    "So how long are you going to prescribe the medicine this time?" Xing Haiyan asked with a smile.  (Remember the site URL: www.hlnovel.com
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