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020 Waiting in Worry

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    ?

    At this time, the mother's expression was already very hesitant.

    "Don't forget, there are children. After school, they also have to eat lunch." My sister also said at a critical moment.

    Although the mother did not answer directly, we can see that after listening to her sister's words, her persistence has disappeared.

    "Come on, let's go back and make lunch first." The wife said as she walked towards the elevator entrance, holding her mother's arm.

    Seeing my mother didn't mean any rejection, and our hearts finally relaxed temporarily.  Under the gesture of my brother-in-law and my eyes, my sister followed quickly.  In this way, we cleverly sent mother away.

    At this time, the only ones waiting outside the operating room were me, my brother-in-law, my cousin and my cousin.

    Sometimes, being busy and worrying is also a kind of happiness.  At first I was busy answering the phone and explaining the situation to latecomers, and later I was worried about my mother's psychological endurance, so for a long time, I didn't have time to think.

    Now that everything is done, I also began to sit quietly on the bench and wait.  The quiet environment is easy to give people a feeling of depression, not to mention, at this moment, I am still very concerned about my father in the operating room!

    I couldn't be more aware of my father's situation.  As soon as the inspection report came out, I already knew that my father's condition was not optimistic.  At that time, my psychology suffered another huge shock.  When I knew that my father's legs were slightly swollen, I felt even worse.  Later, I called my wife's cousin to inquire about the situation, and my wife's cousin said very clearly that the appearance of this phenomenon indicated that the situation was already serious.  At that time, I really felt the pressure like a mountain.  It is precisely because of the terrible situation that I will try my best to hide it from my father.

    Regardless of the reason, in the end, we chose to have the operation at the Municipal People's Hospital, which we didn't quite trust.  This has further aggravated my mental stress.  What's more, the attending physician of the Municipal People's Hospital emphasized before the operation that my father's tumor was relatively large, and it was actually in the middle and late stages.  Of course, I knew in my heart that "middle" was very likely to be a word of comfort, and my father's condition was probably in the late stage.

    In the selection of the surgical method, the attending physician suggested that the operation should be performed on the right side where the tumor can be more conveniently removed, which also allowed me to further clarify the seriousness of my father's condition.  If it hadn't been for the consideration of the difficulty of father's tumor removal, then I believe that the attending physician, who spoke more honestly, would not have done anything extra, suggesting which surgical plan was more suitable for his father.

    Coupled with my father's deteriorating mental state and physical fitness these days

    All of the above, in the process of quietly waiting, emerged one by one in my mind.  It was totally unstoppable.  The more I think about it, the heavier my heart becomes.  Gradually, the worry in my heart became more and more intense.

    I know that the more advanced the cancer and the bigger the tumor, the greater the risk of surgery.  What the doctor called "90 percent success rate" was one of the most important reasons why I decided to sign up.  But, now, I am full of doubts about its "ninety percent" success rate.  The reason is very simple. If there is a success rate of "ninety percent" or more, then why does he emphasize that his father's cancer has advanced to the middle and late stages, and why does he emphasize that his father's tumor is relatively large?  This seems somewhat illogical.

    Now, I have some doubts. At that time, was the "90% success rate" that the attending physician swore to deceive me into signing?  Under the anxious state of waiting outside the operating room, how can I rationally make a correct judgment on such a problem?  However, it is precisely because I can't judge whether it is true or not, the worry in my heart has become more and more intense.

    Gradually, the deep worry turned into fear!  It is precisely because "any operation has risks", so cases of being unable to get off the operating table are not uncommon across the country.  Although I strongly condemned my own crow's mouth in my heart, such worries became more and more serious, and it was simply impossible to contain them.

    According to my cousin's description afterwards, my face was ashen, gloomy, and extremely scary at that time.  Of course, I can't see myself, and even if I see it, I may not be able to pay attention to it.  Because, at that time, I was completely immersed in worrying about my father's operation.

    This is different from the feeling of living like a year before. At that time, I didn't notice the passage of time at all.  Although I don¡¯t believe in God, I still pray to God to bless my father.  My father is one of the closest people to me in this world, and I will never allow even the slightest accident to happen to him.  But it is precisely because of the extreme concern that even while praying to God, my heart is full of anxiety.  Because, I am really afraid of facing the ending of the operation failure.

    At that time, my state of mind, using the word "fear"The description is probably not an exaggeration at all.  Although I was still sitting so quietly, my heart was actually full of ups and downs.  The more I thought about it, the more I felt that the risk of my father's operation was high, and the more I thought about it, the more uneasy I felt.  It is precisely because of the fear of failure of the operation that I keep praying.  But it is also the reminder of constant prayer that the uneasiness in my heart will become more intense.  The more restless, the more you pray; the more you pray, the more you fearit seems like a never-ending vicious cycle.  Deep in this vicious circle, my mood got worse and worse.

    The cousin sitting next to me saw that my expression was getting more and more tense. It didn't take long for my face to turn livid and then pale. Later, my body began to shake, and even my hands and feet began to tremble slightly.  I behaved so abnormally, of course my cousin gradually realized that something was wrong.  As my father's nephew, my cousin was of course also nervous, but it was definitely much better than me.  Seeing this scene, my cousin, who was getting more and more nervous, immediately speculated that there was a serious emotional problem with me based on the gradual changes in my mood, and I might even be on the verge of collapse.  Now that you know it, of course you can't ignore it.

    "Cousin, cousin"

    My cousin yelled several times in a row before I finally responded.  "Well, what's the matter?" Because I was in a bad mood, I answered a little weakly.

    "Have you paid attention to the electronic screen above?" My cousin asked solemnly while pointing to it.

    "No!" I was full of worry, how could I have the mood to look around!  However, seeing my cousin's serious face, I couldn't take him too seriously. After thinking about it, I deliberately asked in cooperation: "Could it be, can you see something from it?" (Remember the website website: www.hlnovel  .com
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