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Chapter 628 I worship you so much, what should I do?

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    ?

    ——"Second, the difference in the three views is not the main reason for conflicts and differences. Many people say that we have "differences in the three views".

    But the reality is that in our life, we really can't find two people with exactly the same three views, why?

    ?Because the world outlook, moral outlook and outlook on life are not three concepts, but three groups of concepts, aiming at problems in the three relationship fields.

    For example, the outlook on life, a good life is not a single value concept, but many values, so English can say values, which are plural.

    For example, safety, health, achievement, etc., may all be the values ??needed for a good life.  Some people have less, some have more, and the order of priority is different, which constitutes a variety of outlook on life.

    Going back to your question, people like to listen to opinions that meet their own preferences, which has caused the phenomenon of "information cocoons". This is true.

    In my opinion, this is caused by wanting to stay in my comfort zone.  Comfort zones are important because they provide us with a sense of security and certainty.

    But have you discovered that being completely enclosed in your own comfort zone can actually be uncomfortable.

    Just like we usually do, living in a city we are familiar with is safe and sure, but many people feel uncomfortable.

    Because in addition to the needs of safety, people also have the need to meet challenges.  Therefore, we actually have to find a balance point with the right proportion between comfort and adventure.  "

    ——"Mr. Qin, can I understand it this way. Even if they know the danger sometimes, there are still a group of people who will go rock climbing, even knowing that their lives may be in danger, but still break through Qiangtang and climb Mount Everest?

    Doing this is to find the right balance point?  "

    Chu Lihua was greatly interested by Qin Qing's theory.  Looking at him with shining eyes.

    Qing Yunfei and Yanyan shot at almost the same time, grabbing their other half.

    ——"Three thousand weak waters take one scoop alone, colorful ones keep one color alone, and all things in the world only love one person."

    Qin Qing's pleasant mulberry voice echoed in his ears, although Chu Lihua knew it was for Yanyan.

    However, my heart couldn't help but miss a beat.

    With such a handsome man, it's no wonder that Yanyan takes such strict care of food.

    Feeling that the big hand holding her hand was getting stronger, Chu Lihua smiled.

    They were all snatched from under the jealous eyebrows of the women, how could they not care.

    Leaning her head gently on Qing Yunfei's shoulder, comforting him silently.

    Feeling that Qing Yunfei's whole body was still stiff, Chu Lihua's vermilion lips parted slightly.

    ——"In this life, I am separated from you in the deepest world of mortals, and reunited with you in the deepest world of mortals. It is love, fate, the practice of love, and the refuge of fate.

    When you are tired of this world, I will let go of all obsessions, and find a quiet place in the time of disillusionment, and simply rest with you.  Like a lotus flower, it sings softly, elegant and dust-free.  "

    Only then did Qing Yunfei relax, and stretched out his arms to embrace Chu Lihua.

    ——"Mr. Qin, you continue."

    —— "As far as adventurous exploration is concerned, you need to be moderately exposed to opinions that you don't like at first.

    When encountering a point of view that you don't like, you may need to analyze it more carefully.

    For example, a friend said to you, "Girls still have to admit that they are not as good as boys in some aspects."  This kind of remarks is annoying when you hear it, what age is it, and there are such stereotyped sexist concepts.  The three views are completely inconsistent, what else can I do besides blackmailing and breaking up the relationship?

    Actually, this is a real example I encountered.  I didn't choose to break up the friendship at that time, but asked him, what do you mean by that?

    He said, "Why are sports competitions grouped by gender? It is because if men and women compete together, no women can win the championship. This is a fact."

    I said, "Among the college students and graduate students in the United States, the proportion of women is higher than that of men. Does this prove that boys are mentally weaker than girls?"

    Then we discussed it.  It was later discovered that he did not oppose the principle of equality between men and women, but was different from me in how to recognize and treat gender differences.

    And he is not completely unreasonable.  In fact, our differences, involving the Three Views, are only a small part of cognition in the world view, as well as some subtle differences in the moral view, which are not serious enough to the point of "the three views do not agree".

    The three views of people are originally shaped in the process of socialization, and being able to be shaped means that they can be changed.  Taking risks in moderation and accepting challenges will make…The self becomes richer.  "

    ——"Three views can be molded? Can it be changed? Mr. Qin, I have a friend who was originally a girl chasing a boy, and love from school uniform to wedding dress.

    Later, because I came to work in Beijing, I met a male colleague.  She disliked her husband who already had a son and a daughter together.  It is said that the three views do not match, so in her case, does the three views change with the environment?  "

    The reason why Chu Lihua asked was not that the Holy Mother cared about Yu Xiaqiu, but pure curiosity.

    ——"In an intimate relationship, the so-called "discordance of three views" is more complicated. However, as I said before, the same three views are neither a sufficient condition nor a necessary condition for a good marriage.

    To answer your question, you need to judge on a case-by-case basis.  Precisely, the answer probably depends on the type of relationship your friend has.

    There is a marriage relationship model, which can be called the "overall relationship model", that is, almost all areas of life are shared between partners, and each person leaves very little autonomy for himself.

    For example, two people are middle school teachers, they share things with each other at work, they discuss and decide together when they encounter troubles, they use all their income together, their social circles are mutual friends, and there is basically no one-sidedness.  friend.

    The movies they watch, the music they listen to, and other interests and hobbies also have a lot of overlap. Both of them can read the information in each other's mobile phones at will without keeping any privacy.

    This is the overall relational schema.  Was this the case before your friend and their husband and wife?

    For such a model, the compatibility of the three views of the two is very important. Note that it is compatibility, not the same, which means that they can be compatible with each other.

    In this case, if there is a conflict, either change the incompatible part of the three views, or change the marriage relationship model to another model, called "partial relationship model".

    In the partial relationship model, the partners will have a larger relatively independent space for autonomy, but still share a certain aspect of the common life, which can be called the "shared axis".

    If this shared axis is gone, then the intimate partnership will break down or exist in name only.  "

    ——"What is a 'Shared Axis'?"

    Chu Lihua was fascinated by what she heard. This Qin Qing's level is comparable to those of professors in a certain university.  (Remember the site URL: www.hlnovel.com
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