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Chapter 859

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    ?

    "It is a psychological area in a gray area, and it is a very common psychological state, but we usually do not express it accurately.

    So all the types of pleasing disorders I'm going to talk about below are just a behavioral tendency, it's not really a disease.

    If you find that some situations are similar to yourself, it just means that you have this tendency. Don't think that you are sick.  "

    Chu Lihua burst out laughing. At first, she wondered if she was mentally ill, but in the class, she said that the teacher is interesting.

    ——"What are you listening to? Happy to be like this?"

    Qing Yunfei suddenly leaned over and tucked the quilt for Chu Lihua.

    ——"Husband, I have a premonition that you will treat me better and better, so I can't help laughing. Look, this is it. I feel that I am getting happier and happier!

    To marry you, I won the bet!  "

    Qing Yunfei was a little shy, "Don't give me such stupid things."

    Chu Lihua smiled and did not refute, then shook Qing Yunfei's hand.

    After Qing Yunfei patted Chu Lihua, he took Xiaoqi back to cook for her.

    Chu Lihua then put on the earphones to listen to the pleasing disease just now.

    "It is divided into three types: cognitive type, habitual type, and avoidance type. After we understand ourselves, we can improve it according to a 21-day method to improve the pleasing disorder introduced in the book.

    The first type of cognitive pleasing disorder.  The psychological barriers of such people are caused by some wrong ideas.  What are these misconceptions?

    The first wrong idea is that they think that as long as I am a good person and I treat others well, then others should treat me well, and if others treat me badly, then it is my own fault.  "

    !  !  !

    Isn't this what you are talking about?

    "Their inner spears are always directed at themselves, never at the outside. No matter what problems they encounter, they feel that it is their own fault, and they should first find the reason from themselves.

    It stands to reason that such people should be particularly likable, they should be the type that everyone loves and flowers bloom when they see flowers.

    In fact, the result is just the opposite. People who like to please others are often difficult to get along with.  Why?

    Because the mentality of blaming yourself for everything and feeling that you are wrong will make you fall into a very complicated logical trap.

    What does this trap look like?  Let me explain briefly, because they think that as long as I treat others well, others should treat me well.

    This doesn't seem to be a problem, after all, who would hate a person who treats him well, right?  But the problem lies in this 'should'.

    In the lexicon of these people with a tendency to please, there are many absolute words, such as should, must, and must, and they often put these words on their lips as their own mantras.

    Not allowing themselves to deviate from this standard, they acquiesce that the world is fair, and good people should be recognized by others, so they try their best to be a good person.  "

    Chu Lihua really has a feeling of enlightenment, this is really a portrayal of herself!

    "Then how to be a good person? First of all, they have high demands on themselves. They feel that they should meet everyone's expectations and take good care of everyone around them; they should not hurt anyone's feelings, and they should not let anyone  people disappointed;

    You should always be happy and optimistic, and you should try not to trouble others.  They feel that if they fully abide by these disciplines, they will become a person that everyone likes.

    In addition to these high standards for themselves, they also have great expectations of what others should do.  They feel that if I do a lot for others, then others should appreciate me.

    I try my best to please others, so others should like me.  If I fulfill the requirements of others, then others should be inseparable from me.

    These high expectations for others are still hidden, and they often don't say it, that is, I hope you appreciate me, and I hope you perform in a certain way; but I won't tell you, let you guess for yourself.

    They never speak out about their needs, because they feel that they are bothering others.  As a result, others usually do not understand them, do not understand what they want, and cannot meet their high expectations; in fact, there is no reason for others to specifically meet their high expectations, this is their own unilateral request.

    So when other people can't meet them, their expectations will often fail, and they will feel disappointed, uncomfortable, frustrated, and even a little bit angry.gas.  "

    Meng Xianxiang's phone call came in, interrupting Chu Lihua, who was taking her seat by appointment——

    "how's it going?"

    ——"She just wanted to give me a real hammer, and I exposed her. I gave her a choice, but she hasn't replied to me yet.

    Perhaps, this is her choice.  Honestly, if she had been honest with me in the first place I would have been with her on this.  "

    ——"Brother, I'm sorry. It was my bad idea."

    ——"I know, you know me. You should have persuaded her to tell me the truth, right?"

    ——"Yes, I did. But she doesn't agree!"

    Chu Lihua regretted it as soon as she said it, "No, I mean"

    Meng Xianxiang interrupted her, "Chuchu, everyone should think for themselves, I understand. But, in the future, don't do this again, okay?"

    Chu Lihua was ashamed, "I'm sorry, maybe I've been too complacent recently. To put it bluntly, I'm a little drifting."

    ——"No, not recently. You have always thought that you can help everyone. This world does not need anyone to save. The one who saves himself is often himself."

    ——"I was wrong, you still taught me so carefully. And I also know that I am called pleasing disorder in psychology. I am studying and plan to use 21 days to change myself."

    ——"Okay, I will accompany you. Supervise you!"

    ——"Brother, on the matter of Lanzhi"

    ——"Needless to say, fate is like this. You think it's a good fate, but it's just a joke."

    ——"Lanzhi really didn't do it voluntarily, she was"

    ——"Do you know the process? If she didn't have any interest, how could this happen even to children?"

    ——"Brother, I think you should listen to Lanzhi's explanation."

    ——"The key is is she willing to explain? By now, do you know the truth?"

    Chu Lihua was devastated, but what was the reason for Lanzhi?

    To be honest, she is particularly disgusted by those girls on the Internet who say they were raped because of their revealing clothes.

    Such a transfer of responsibility is really unfair to girls.

    —— "Let me call Lanzhi and ask."

    Chu Lihua called Lanzhi, but she didn't answer.  (Remember the site URL: www.hlnovel.com
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