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It turned out that I was never understood and respected when I was a child.
I heard from my mother that I was very crying when I was a child. At that time, as long as I cried, I would be left alone under the light and stop crying.
All this stems from the fact that when I was just born, my crying stopped at the big bright light bulb in the hospital.
However, at that time, my little self clearly just wanted to be cared and comforted by his parents.
It's a pity that the lamp that emits light also generates heat. I can't feel the warmth from my mother, so I am obsessed with the electric lamp that generates heat.
It turned out that my "hate" towards my parents stemmed from the resentment that I couldn't get love.
I resent them, when I need warmth, I give myself to the electric light until I finally grow up, but in the name of love, I interfere in my life more. Didn't take care of my own thoughts at all.
Having found the root cause, Chu Lihua let out a deep breath before continuing with the tidying up just now.
¡ª¡ª"After their rights are realized, the child's anger will disappear. How should we educate children who have resentment and their revenge behavior?
The specific method is: do not retaliate against the child's retaliatory behavior; if the child keeps making the same mistakes, adults must be calm and not be "irritated" by the child's resentment.
In addition, keep the door of communication with your child open all the time, talk to your child on an equal footing, and don't "talk" to your child condescendingly.
Give an example of a child swearing. A three or four-year-old child suddenly learns to speak swear words. Maybe he finds it very interesting and keeps swear words on his lips all day long.
Children don't understand the meaning of swear words, let alone understand that it is impolite. He just came into contact with new words after he got used to speaking normally, and every time he used them, adults were surprised, nervous or angry.
The child will think: "It's so funny that I can make adults so weird just by saying a funny word."
If a child swears, if an adult immediately criticizes and corrects him, he will think it is a coup to control him. In the future, as long as he is not satisfied with the adults, he will use dirty words to irritate the adults, and he will try everything.
The correct way to correct a child's swearing is: cold treatment. Parents must maintain a calm appearance and tell him in a normal tone that swearing is wrong.
If he swears again next time, adults can even ignore him at all and just leave him alone. In short, adults should not be irritated by children who swear, otherwise children will continue to use swear words to tease adults, which is also a kind of revenge.
A child feels that his bad habits can make his parents nervous and angry, then he seems to have a weapon that he can take out at any time to punish his parents.
A child's bad habits are like the wind, and the parents are like the sails of the ship. When the wind blows, the sails will bulge. This gives the child a sense of accomplishment. If we maintain a normal mind, we can "let the children's wind have no sails to blow".
After a long time, children will no longer irritate their parents with swearing. Of course, the way to correct a child¡¯s swearing is not only to deal with it coldly, but also to prevent him from interacting with children who love to swear, use interesting things to attract the child to speak correctly, and divert his attention from swearing.
For children who make repeated mistakes and have retaliatory behaviors, the way parents speak should also be changed. Parents are advised to "talk" to their children, not "to" them.
Talking to children means that parents and children communicate equally, both are speakers and listeners. Talking to children means that parents are condescending and preaching to children, and children are only qualified to listen and have no right to express.
Those children who repeatedly make mistakes and take revenge, the reason why they refuse to correct after repeated admonitions is actually that they cannot listen to the words of adults, that is, the door of communication between adults and children is closed.
Talking to the child is to make the child feel that you are his partner, not an authority. "
Love is not a tug of war, it has to come whoever wins and loses. And love should be rowing a boat and working together to reach the other side of happiness.
¡ª¡ª" And the last type, children who give up on themselves, hardly release any information.
Children who give up on themselves have no sense of belonging and self-confidence. And what's more troublesome is that such a child feels that it is impossible for him to belong, so he simply gives up.
Here is another example of learning. A boy in the first grade of elementary school is not interested in studying.
The teacher told the mother that the child had a particularly difficult time reading and could not keep up with other subjects. No matter how the teacher tutors, the boy's grades just don't improve.
The teacher asked the mother, what do the children help out at home? My mother said, I didn't let him help a long time ago, he didn't want to do anything, even if he did, he would be clumsy.
A child who is completely discouraged will give up on himself completely, feeling that no matter what he does, he can't succeed.
He feels very helpless, and then uses this helplessness to exaggerate his own weaknesses, sometimes even exaggerate his imagined weaknesses, in order to avoid doing things that he expects to fail.
Children who seem clumsy are often very unconfident, they are using their stupidity to avoid effort, as if to say, if I do things, you will find out how useless I am, so leave me alone, that's how I am people.
The cause of children's self-destructive self-abandonment is often caused by the words and deeds of their parents. As parents, we are always worried that our children will not learn well when they grow up, develop bad habits, and take detours.
Then, we supervise them and try to prevent them from making mistakes. When children make no mistakes, we worry about them making mistakes and keep telling them not to do this or that.
Once a child makes a mistake, we repeatedly blame, how can you do this, how can you do that. This kind of words and deeds actually exposed the lack of self-confidence of the parents.
If our focus is all on children's negative words and deeds, it will be impossible for them to find a direction that leads to positiveness and success. Because we constantly criticize and correct our children, not only will it make them feel that they often make mistakes, but it will also make them afraid of making mistakes.
Such fear of mistakes may cause children to be reluctant to do anything, because if they don't do things, they won't make mistakes. This is the root cause of those children who give up on themselves.
The way to deal with this kind of children is that children have shortcomings or have made mistakes, do not emphasize their "shortcomings" or criticize their mistakes, but help children find ways to "make up for shortcomings" and "avoid mistakes".
? Use patience and time to teach children the specific steps and detailed skills to do the right thing. For example, parents should break down a specific task into small steps, so that children can get small results by using their hands and brains a little. "(Remember this site URL: www.hlnovel.com - Didn't finish reading? Add this book to your favoritesI'm a member and bookmarked this chapterCopy the address of this book and recommend it to your friends for pointsChapter error? Click here to report
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