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Chapter 339 Zuo is the Scab of a Growing Wound

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    Although Wang Ting's pain is completely different from her Chu Lihua's, the mental journey of not being understood and cared by her parents is the same.

    Therefore, Chu Lihua's persuasive tone inevitably weakened.

    ¡ª¡ª"Well, I can actually understand it. Even if I can barely make a peaceful phone call with my mother now, the resentment in my heart will definitely not be resolved in a day or two."

    Compared with adult parents, children are more like sensitive psychologists. Parents only consider their survival, but they care about their parents' emotions and are very sensitive to their parents' psychological changes.  It is easy for them to revolve around the emotions of their parents, and parents will also use their emotions to control their children intentionally or unintentionally.

    Such controlling parents are complacent, thinking that they are doing it for the good of their children, but the children actually feel that they grow up in an oxygen-deficient environment, completely dizzy and purposeless.  Because the direction of his efforts is the direction his parents want, and the path he chooses is the path his parents want him to take.

    Children who grow up under the "close supervision" of their parents lack the concept of psychological boundaries. When they become adults, they are either easy to depend on others or easy to control others. Parents do not respect their personal space, and they cannot learn to respect themselves and others.  personal space.

    This is the most fundamental problem between Chu Lihua and her boyfriends.  If you don't rely on him very much, you will want to control him very much, even if you make him feel sorry for yourself in a way that hurts yourself.  It never occurred to me that two people are not in a relationship of interdependence or mutual control, but should be two independent individuals.

    It's just that the original relationship with parents was formed as early as childhood, which is the corresponding relationship with other people after adulthood.  Once you have formed such a mental habit, you will treat those close to you in the future in this way.  This is the legendary work - the wounds in the process of growth have formed scabs.

    When young, children care too much about their parents' evaluation.  When he grows up, he tends to care about the evaluations of his classmates, teachers, bosses, colleagues, etc., and lives in the evaluations of others all day long. He does things not for his own inner needs, but to get good evaluations from others.

    Children who grow up in this way are either particularly cold or sensitive inside. Ah, what is more likely to happen is that cold children are usually very sensitive inside, and there is a huge crisis in interpersonal relationships.

    Many parents are actually shaping their children according to their ideal self, but if their actual self and ideal self are too far apart, the child will easily have a strong rebellious heart when he grows up, because he will find that the parents are actually "saying something  Do one set."

    The tall idol image of parents in his heart collapsed in an instant, which would further aggravate the bad relationship between parents and children.

    The deeper the analysis, the deeper the thinking, Chu Lihua's good mood just now will disappear in an instant.  I am still in that dark bottomless pit, and trying to rescue other people in other bottomless pits, which is really ridiculous.

    After Chu Lihua and Wang Ting apologized solemnly.  She suddenly mentioned a childhood that was similar to Chu Lihua's, but relatively speaking, a little luckier than his.

    Wang Ting was raised by her grandparents in the countryside from one month after she was born until she was in the third grade of elementary school.  From the third grade to the sixth grade, they live and study in the county with their uncles and aunts.  From the first day of junior high school, I went back to my parents to study.

    When Wang Ting started to remember, for some reason, someone once lied to her that the police wanted to arrest her.  Therefore, whenever she heard that a stranger had entered the village or heard the sound of a motorcycle or a car, she would run and cry in fright, not knowing where to hide.  (Grandpa and grandma love her very much, and now she often says that grandpa is the person who cares about her the most, and the person she trusts and respects the most.)

    From the third grade to the sixth grade, she went to live and study in the county with her uncle and aunt.  Aunt seldom talks to Xiaoyun.  She went to school during the day and studied by herself at night, and she walked alone, with no one to pick her up.  Seeing that other students are always picked up by their parents or family members, she often calls and tells me that she is very scared when she returns home from self-study classes at night, and that her uncle and aunt do not love her, so they don't pick her up.  She often envies other classmates for their good fortune, being loved by their parents, having money to spend, dressing nicely, and looking pretty.  She was afraid that if she was ugly, her parents would not love her.  However, despite these mental burdens, she still works hard in her studies, never misses class late, goes home on time after class, completes all homework on time, and her grades have always been very good.

    In the first semester of the fifth grade, Wang Ting broke her right hand in a school race.  Due to an operation error, five fingers lost feeling and could not move.  She was very sad and in pain. She felt that her hands were disabled, she could no longer write with a pen, and she would never be able to read for the rest of her life.  In order to cure her hand, her parents gave everything and took her to Guangzhou and Shenzhen for medical treatment.  ??Strongly withstood the pain of three operations, and insisted on acupuncture for about eight months. During these eight months, she has been walking alone with no one to pick her up.  Later, her hand slowly recovered, and when she first found out that she felt sensation in one of her fingers, she jumped for joy.

    Although her hands were better, her grades plummeted.  She couldn't accept the reality, and every time she knew the score, she didn't believe it was her own score.  From then on, she became less and less interested in studying and began to look for other happiness.

    However, her parents became more and more impatient and despised her for her plummeting academic performance. They just beat, scolded and squeezed her blindly, wanting to study hard.  Originally, they had been separated from their parents since they were young, and under such circumstances, their parent-child relationship became worse and worse.

    Later, Wang Ting dropped out of school in junior high school to help subsidize the family.  By chance, she came into contact with Chinese medicine. She originally wanted to learn a skill well, but her parents also wanted her to excel in this area after they knew it, so she felt more and more psychological pressure.

    Later, when I went home, I basically went to see my grandparents.  At other times, family is just a noun for Wang Ting.

    ¡ª¡ª"Tingting, at least you are much better than me. Anyway, your grandparents loved you since childhood. I remember that my great-grandmother took care of me from my birth to the age of three. I should have lived those days  .best of times, then she passed away and I never felt that much love again. I had no place in my grandparents' house because my dad wasn't liked by them. My grandparents didn't like me either  , because my mother was not liked by them. So I became the kind of kid who hates cats and dogs." (Remember this website URL: www.hlnovel.com
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