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Lost innocence in childhood, speechless to tell the truth

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    At one or two o'clock in the morning, I was suddenly awakened by the nightmare of my childhood.

    To be honest, my childhood was cruel, and I was wrapped up in endless homework and review questions all day long.

    I am a rural person, and I went to a rural primary school. At that time, the rural education was loose, and I basically didn¡¯t learn much. I just played with mud ignorantly all day long.  In the sixth grade of primary school, a relative teacher sent me to their class in urban primary school, and she was the Chinese teacher in that class.  Of course, she had read my composition and felt that my language proficiency was good, so she could enter their honor class.  But who knows, my math grades are very poor. Every night, the old math teacher surnamed Xiao assigns homework, which is the practice questions of the whole unit. There are dozens of questions every day, and I can't sleep until twelve o'clock.  I get up at 5:30 every morning and haven't slept for five hours.  Doze off every day in class.  What a helpless thing this is for a child of twelve or thirteen years old.

    I can't do many math problems, so I go out at night and ask around, ask my aunt, ask my uncle, I am very tired, can't sleep at night, and lose my appetite.

    Also, I was the last one to leave every day, because the math teacher asked us to stay in the class and memorize the math formulas. I was stupid and couldn't memorize those hard-to-remember math formulas, so I was punished for staying at the end.  I couldn't finish memorizing it at night, so I was punished to stand outside the classroom door to memorize it in the morning.  I remember that it was very cold in winter, and I still stood outside to endorse.  What a dense mathematical formula!

    Especially my family lives in the countryside, more than an hour away from the city, so I have to walk home.  When I got home, it was seven or eight o'clock.  After finishing the homework, it will be eleven or twelve o'clock.  Because there are so many homework, there are dozens of exercises for one unit in the math textbook.  It was only later that I learned about those Olympiads. Many students looked them up on the computer.  And I've exhausted my brains, and I'm not satisfied.

    It's so hard.  This is my dark childhood life.

    I always wonder, when will such days pass?  At school, I always lowered my head and became more and more silent. I felt that my head was very heavy. The classmates in the city were all children of rich families, and they looked down on our rural children who were dressed in shabby clothes.  None of my friends are willing to play with me who is overwhelmed by studying every day, and I don't play with them either.

    I think my head was broken at that time, because I was so tired and heavy.

    In junior high school, although I got good grades in mathematics and won the first place in the class several times, I was still withdrawn, and my health began to deteriorate

    High school was even more of a nightmare. She boarded at school and her body collapsed.  No one cares.

    Later I got sick, schizophrenia, a disease that anyone wants to stay away from.

    Maybe I am as stupid as Yuan Xiangqin played by Ariel Lin in "Mischievous Kiss", and I can't study well, but she is so comfortable and stress-free in Class F.

    So far, I still hate why the relative of the Chinese teacher took me from a small rural village to an urban primary school, which made me so uncomfortable.  It seems that the Chinese teacher also has a mental illness. She gave birth to a son in her early years and got divorced.

    Hate, hate, hate¡ª

    After so many years, I still remember¡ª¡ª

    Teacher Yanmei, are you going to let an innocent girl suffer mental torture with you?

    This kind of feeling that has been suppressed in the heart for many years and cannot be expressed, once you express it, others will treat you as a lunatic.  I remembered the story of Grandpa Mao's wife who lost her beloved son in Russia and was treated as a madman.  Heartache.  Can't tell if there is suffering?  Only the dumb can eat coptis.  I know that not all wounds can be healed, and not all sufferings can be poured out.  One year can only be counted as one year, muddle along.  Cherish what you have at the moment.

    I got sick because of the college entrance examination.

    Mom said, what's the use of learning so much knowledge, it's better not to study, so you can still have a good body and marry a good man.

    I think so, if I don't study hard, it would be great, my body will be gone, and it will be nothing but nothing in the end.

    Hey, I remember at that time, when I had a headache every day, my eyes hurt, my body was stiff, and my mouth smelled bad, I quit high school, maybe I wouldn't get sick.  Because there is not only one path to success in the world.  As the saying goes - all roads lead to Rome.

    Thinking of the math teacher pulling me out of the classroom by my hair, I cried so much.  Thinking of I failed the math test for the first time, and was publicly criticized by the teacher in class. I was so timid, I was really sad, so I went crazy, and was grabbed by the teacher desperately!  Just a twelve or thirteen-year-old boy with a long body.  Don't know anything about age!  You should be carefree and play happily with your friends.  .

    The two menopausal teachers of Chinese and mathematics in the sixth grade of elementary school were cruel executioners, beheading my happy childhood.  Every day when I go to school, I feel my head is so heavy!  It's so hard to breathe!  It is very difficult to say a word!  It's hard to adapt from rural to urban life!  It's really amazing to learn from ignorance?!

    (Postscript: It¡¯s not that I hate them so much, but their sternness and the pressure they put on me every day makes me sleepless at night, I have headaches every day, so that I get seriously ill. And their criticism makes me unable to hold my head up in front of my classmates  .The wealth they gave me is so insignificant compared to the pain they gave me. Also, it¡¯s just an elementary school. Is it necessary to make learning so deep that it causes students headaches? So I hate it. Give me a smile at the end.(*^__^  *) It¡¯s all over!) (Remember the website URL: www.hlnovel.com
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