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2021.1.29

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    ?

    I think I have figured it out and accepted the reality, but I don¡¯t know why I am not happy. Today I was copying Tang Yingfeng¡¯s poem, and suddenly thought of something, and said to g: I want simple happiness, but I have already done the simplest  I work and live the most leisurely life, but I am still not happy. I have been unable to figure out this problem. Why?  She said that it is not easy to be happy when you are idle. Sometimes it is easy to think too much when you are too idle.  Sure enough, the bystanders could see clearly.

    After much deliberation, deliberation, and deliberation, making a certain choice because it is the most beneficial is really not you.

    ? After running for more than ten minutes, I feel that it is not impossible to leave after the two sessions, but I just need to spend a little time, make a plan, do exercise in the morning and evening, run for more than ten minutes or something.

    Thinking about it, you are wrong, from all aspects.

    This afternoon, sister lm and gy exchanged speeches at the annual meeting. Miss jy tried her best to join the topic and expressed that she was looking forward to the annual meeting program. You tried to seriously write Tian Hongjie's manuscript for g.  You are thinking, you and sister jy seem to be forgotten by the world, everything in this world has nothing to do with you, and you feel sad, and you cannot restrain your sadness because of the excellence of others. Isn't this a despicable expression?  But you are also a human being, no matter how you suppress it, human desires still exist after all.

    After finishing the manuscript, I became bored, so I started to copy the lyrics written by Tang Yingfeng and learn the rules of writing poems.  I used to think that the song "Tree in Early Spring" was very nice, but I never copied it down and studied it carefully. When I copied it down today, I once again marveled at how talented he is. I thought the lyrics of "Rain is Good" were well written  Absolutely, watching "The Tree in Early Spring" now, it's really wonderfully written, when I think about it now, I think it's a waste of money to just use it as lyrics.  Today¡¯s harvest on poetry writing is: writing poetry is very important to freehand brushwork, freehand brushwork is not only counted as imagination, but also the description of the real environment, so the description of scenery is actually freehand brushwork.

    ? This morning, I sent a screenshot of Haizi's "Facing the Sea, Spring Blossoms" to g, and asked her if it was right to send it to Moments during the New Year's Eve.  Being suspected of being overwhelmed, she said she would.

    Anyway, no matter which choice you choose, one thing is for sure, you still need to live in this world, if you want to live to be 50, you have 24 years to live, and now each day is too long  unbearable.  There are several paths you can choose in the future. The first path is to stubbornly believe what you are insisting on now, knowing that this path is too difficult to die, and this life must be very painful; the second path is to adapt to this world and change  , here can be divided into two paths, the first is not to travel, stay here, tell lz that you have to overcome yourself, and then make corresponding efforts and changes to address your shortcomings, learn to chat with people,  Learn to compliment others appropriately, learn to maintain the relationship between people, learn to maintain your own image, from words and deeds to dressing, and then make a boyfriend and live a normal life. The second is  Travel first, live as much as you want while traveling, and then seriously change yourself after you come back. You can change in one place, or stay from one place to another, and grow a little bit every time.  But the question is, do you want to change?  Another way is to go to a university and then concentrate on doing research, but in fact you don't like doing research.  Maybe there is another way out, to be a freelance writer, but you don¡¯t want to make up stories, writing poetry is too sentimental, and writing prose is too groaning.  I thought of a sentence today, you despise this society so much, but you still feel pain because you can¡¯t get what everyone in the society wants to have. Is this a human contradiction or hypocrisy?  It may also be appropriate to put it here. You look down on everything in this society so much, but you still have to be cautious because of everything in reality. It's ridiculous.

    Yesterday at noon you told lm that you were going to eat Shanxi sliced ??noodles, because you had been eating them for 3 consecutive days, lm used a dialect to tease you, and explained that the meaning of that sentence was that you said you were a fool, you went the same way  When you arrive at Hei, if you decide on a path, you must go all the way to the end.  At that time, you sighed in your heart, yes, you are really stupid. If you decide on a road, you will stick to it to the end, and you don¡¯t know how to turn.

    Do I have to struggle with these things all my life?  It's scary to think about.  I watched the Japanese manga "Kino's Journey" yesterday. One of the episodes was about a sage with no desires and desires who had his self-will removed. A hypnotist said a word to him, but he made him forget it again.  , and threw a bottle into the sea, told him that there was an answer in the bottle, and then he spent his whole life looking for the bottle, looking for the answer, until he died because of Kino's words and remembered the words of hypnosis:  There is no such thing.  Then he cried heartbreakingly. At that moment, a person who had no emotion and no desire seemed to pour out all the pain he had accumulated all his life, which made people feel very uncomfortable.  You are thinking that this may not be the case when you are old. When you are about to die, one day you suddenly realize that you have been searching for it all your life, but in fact it is nothing.?It was nothing, and then you cried in pain and despair just like this sage.

    When I went to eat at noon today, I came out of the stairs and saw yhz, he ignored you, you thought it was a bit strange not to say hello, and he never returned the mouse to you, so you turned around and asked him if your mouse was lost  Yes, he said no, and kept it at his home.  When you get to the door and are about to go to the next hour, you follow his direction, and when he sees people around the corner, he goes over to strike up a conversation with them, ignores you and walks away, and you walk your way wisely,  My heart hurts a little.  Speaking of which you have actually done a lot of these things, it's just that other people are very polite, so you don't suffer from the same things that others do, and now there is a more rude person doing what you used to do to others  At this time, I finally felt the malice of this world and was sanctioned by this world.  I don't know why, but yhz really hates you, of course, it may be because he looks down on you.  Ignore him next time, don't make trouble.  (Remember the site URL: www.hlnovel.com
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