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Chapter 130 Postscript (2)

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    ?

    Yu Meipan has liked Bianhua since she was a child, and she also compares herself to Bianhua.

    Perhaps, it is this inappropriate comparison that determines my poignant but short life.  It's obviously a poppy, what kind of flower are you doing!

    Maybe this is due to fate. No matter how hard you try, how hard you struggle, you can't get rid of the arrangement of your previous life?  I remember that there is a "Poetry of the Tang Dynasty" that said: "The flowers on the other side bloom on the other side, and the heartbroken grass is sad and heartbroken; there is nothing to do in front of the bridge, and three lives in front of the stone."

    Yes, the destiny of a person is determined by an invisible and intangible "divine power".  But this kind of "divine power" is not that the gods of the previous life controlled you, but the feudal society in this life dominated everything about you.

    If you are born in today's society, don't say that you are a "Bi An Hua", even if you want to change your "gender" to pursue "same-sex" love, you can achieve it

    The ancient people attached great importance to weddings, just like their own future.  This kind of investment, I am afraid that no one in any dynasty can change it.

    After thousands of years of accumulation, China's marriage culture has been formed, marking the existence of China with a unique identity.  So what was the feudal society and the marriage culture with Chinese characteristics like?

    1. The life of parents

    Wedding is one of the "five ceremonies" in China. It has a strong historical background and profound cultural foundation, and is regarded as a traditional gift of the Chinese.  It is recorded in "Book of Rites. Hunyi": "Those who are incomprehensible will combine the best of the two surnames, serve the ancestral temple at the top, and inherit the future generations at the bottom, so the gentleman attaches great importance to it." The ancients believed that the ultimate purpose of marriage is to start a marriage.  The branches and leaves are scattered, and the family is passed on from generation to generation.  Driven by this concept, it is not important whether men and women have feelings before they become husband and wife, but whether women are qualified to enter the door is the most important thing.  As a result, men and women in ancient times lost their autonomy in marriage and could only follow the orders of their parents and listen to the words of the matchmaker.

    "The Book of Songs" has a saying: "How about marrying a wife? You must tell your parents." "Mencius" also said, "If you don't wait for your parents' orders, or the matchmaker's words, if you peep at each other through the gaps, and follow each other over the wall, then the parents and the people of the country  cheap."

    That is to say: a young man and a woman who marry themselves without the consent of their parents and the cooperation of a matchmaker are not recognized by society.

    In the orders of parents and the words of matchmakers, the orders of parents are particularly important.  For couples, if the parents don't like the woman, the husband has to divorce his wife no matter how much he likes her.  The opposite is also the same, no matter how much the man hates the woman, as long as the parents agree, he must marry and enter the door.  For example, the marriage between Wan Sheng and Yu Meipan in my story is like this.

    2. The words of the matchmaker

    If it is said that there is some love in the order of the parents, and there is an understandable "filial piety", then the words of the matchmaker seem to be difficult for people to understand.

    In the old saying, the matchmaker is for the purpose of making a decision-"seeking, the person who agrees with the two surnames";  It is the intermediary who examines whether a man and a woman can marry.

    There is a passage in "Historical Records": "It is not my kind for a woman to marry herself without taking a matchmaker. It will pollute my world." This sentence was said by Ju Taishi in the Warring States Period.  His daughter married Fazhang, the prince of Qi who was fleeing at that time, without the words of a matchmaker. Although Fazhang returned to Qi and became King Xiang of Qi, and Ju Taishi's daughter became queen, Ju Taishi still could not approve of it.  The daughter would rather break away from the father-daughter relationship if there is no matchmaker's word for marriage.

    From this point of view, the real function of the matchmaker's words is to connect the interests of the two clans, making the connection between the interests of the two parties public and rational.  The in-laws who lack the words of the matchmaker are naturally less reasonable, and such an alliance of interests is bound to be questioned and opposed.

    Of course, the words of the matchmaker also have a function of running in and buffering. Even if the two parties cannot reach a consensus on marriage, they will not become enemies.

    Since the Western Zhou Dynasty, the matchmaker has become a legal official institution, whose main function is to "handle the judgment of all peoples" and deal with civil marriage issues, so this institution is called "Mediashi".

    In the Southern Song Dynasty, matchmakers not only provided marriage services for grassroots folks, but also controlled the marriage affairs of the royal family. The matchmakers who specially served the royal family were called "official matchmakers".

    In the Yuan Dynasty, the matchmaker became a legally effective part of the social element.  The Yuan Dynasty stipulated that "let all the lawsuits make the matchmakers aware of the cases that should not be married, and still take the principle that it does not violate the written statement, so as to block the source of litigation."

    That is to say, matchmakers from all over the country must receive a certain degree of legal training to understand the prohibition and tolerance of the government on marriage, and the matchmaker needs to submit a guarantee letter to the local government that they will not introduce illegal marriages, so as to avoid legal disputes  .  In this way, marriage has independent legal supervision, which is much more advanced than the previous system that only held civil ceremonies.

    Later, the system of legalization of matchmakers lasted until the Ming and Qing Dynasties.?Replaced by the Marriage Act.

    3. Is it really feudal dross that the matchmaker's words are the orders of the parents?

    Certainly not!  Otherwise, how could it have been passed down from the society more than 3,000 years ago, or even earlier, to the present without attenuation?  Because this "matchmaker's words, parents' order" has its rationality and scientific nature.

    During the May 4th period, those scholars who shouted to overthrow feudalism, and revolutionaries who shouted for freedom of marriage, asked themselves, what is your real purpose?  How many people have divorced their aging and ugly feudal wives and married their young and beautiful female students under the banner of revolution?  They are by no means revolutionaries who overthrow the feudal dynasty, but opportunists looking for beautiful girls.

    Now, there are quite a few people who call for freedom of marriage and free love, but in the end they still lower their proud heads and accept the words of the matchmaker at home and the orders of their parents.  Because, only such a marriage is solid and can go for a long time.

    why?  In a word: the right family, know the root and know the bottom line.  That's all.  (Remember the site URL: www.hlnovel.com
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