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decadent

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    I have entered the most decadent stage.

    I think about some messy things all day long, but never put them into practice.  In addition to work, my life is only an interpretation of waste.  I lay in bed and fell asleep for a long time, but I often had daydreams.

    Once the novel has been modified a bit, there is no motivation to continue to revise it.  Because I don't know what exactly I'm modifying.  It was originally a failed novel so why spend too much time.

    There is no doubt that when writing this novel, I paid a lot.  Paying so much doesn't necessarily pay off.  In fact, I don't like to write things about love and love. I am a bit traditional and reserved in my bones.

    On the days when I didn't write anything, my sleep quality improved a lot.  I can sleep until dawn, and I can sleep from morning to night.  The headache has been relieved a lot.  Eyes are no longer sore.  There is also a lot to eat.  There are three meals a day, and there is no shortage of one meal.  Obviously, I gained a lot of weight.  The days became very trivial, and I returned to the most natural and simple state.

    I want to read a lot, so in my notebook, I write down the 99 books I need to finish.  When I wrote these book titles on the notebook, I made a lot of determination.

    But after a long time, I have not taken action.

    I do a lot of planning.  For example, after reading those 99 books, such as rewriting the blue forest

    When lying in bed in a daze, I thought about the beginning of the novel a lot, and I didn't know what else I could rewrite.  The future is not clear and bright.  It will make me worry about gains and losses.

    And I began to dislike my pseudonym.  I want unique names.  I am so fickle and irrational.  Sometimes I am shocked by the strange thoughts that pop into my head.

    I may have reached a state of depression.  You will be dissatisfied with everything around you.  Only then will I deny myself again and again.  Only by sleeping can you regulate your fragile nerves.

    I am a joyful person.  People who know me say I'm a little heartless.  But I never thought of it that way myself.

    October.  The weather hasn't turned cold yet.

    The first snow of 2021 has already fallen in Gansu.

    The flying snowflakes.  Decorate the world.

    I know I still have a long way to go.  I have to grit my teeth and move forward step by step.

    I believe that one day I will rewrite the blue forest into the most beautiful appearance.

    I will work hard to write the outline, search for information and work hard to shape every character in the book.  Work hard to make the characters in the pen more three-dimensional and more vivid.

    Every book I have written has made me grow.

    Throughout my life, I have been pursuing these illusory things.

    But I don't regret it.  (Remember the site URL: www.hlnovel.com
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