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Write to my 30 year old self

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    ?

    I mustered up the courage to write you a letter.  Perhaps when you read this letter, you will complain about my childishness.

    We are two years apart.  Actually three years old.

    The future is changing.

    You are my future.

    I don't know what will become of you?

    Are you still as lonely as me?  Are you still pursuing your dreams like I am?  Still as confused about the future as I am?

    I hope that no matter how far you go, you will never forget your original intention.

    If you feel tired, just look back.  I will always stand there waiting for you.

    If the people around you know me, they will forgive you now.

    So, even if you have nothing.  Still the look I begged for the most.

    When you are in a bad mood, remember to write to me often.  Don't bring your dull and boring mood to unrelated people.

    Don't be discouraged when you encounter setbacks.

    Believe that there will be a rainbow after the storm, and believe that the sun will always shine on the earth.

    I hope you will become a confident woman who is full of sunshine and will not shed tears easily.

    Have your own study.  Persist in reading and writing every day.  You can try to make friends.  Don't be afraid of crowds and socializing.

    It's okay, go home often and have a look.

    Parents are getting old.  Don't regret the company you didn't give in the future.

    Know how to be considerate and tolerant.  Don't get into a dead end and don't lose your temper indiscriminately. The shortcomings in your character must be corrected.

    I hope you can re-read (Dream of Red Mansions).  Because that's my favorite book.  If you have other feelings, you can write to me.  I would like to discuss with you.

    If you are single.  Don't easily walk into the cage of marriage.

    I think you will understand the roads I have traveled.

    Don't be picky about eating.  Remember to be kind to yourself.

    Go to the bookstore to buy books and don't pay attention to the price behind the pitiful reading.

    Don't pretend to be strong.  Don't fake happiness.  Live real.  Don't care about other people's comments, ignore gossip.

    If you have money, please visit Wuhan for me.

    Because the cherry blossoms in Wuhan University are beautiful.

    I have never been.

    If you really realize my dream, don't be proud and indulge.  I hope you can calm down and study the many unknown areas in the world.

    Grandpa and grandma are still alive, so I take them out to play.  You can help me accomplish many things that I cannot do.

    A house that doesn't need to be too big.  Just someone.

    No need for luxurious decoration.  It's good to have laughter.

    There is no need for a rich meal, as long as the family loves it.

    If you are with your parents.  Don't dislike their nagging.  Because they've always been that way and never changed.

    I don't like children.

    But he has always existed.  No matter how I escaped, his young body was still struggling in my blood.

    He came into this world too hastily.  The pure and kind child has a pair of innocent eyes.

    I looked at him like I was looking at myself.

    I want to give him more.

    But I never showed love to him.  It's like a marriage I've always hated.

    I hope you can make it up to me.

    I hope you can understand my helplessness and misery.

    I am still young.  I don't understand what is responsibility?  So, I push all the consequences of this to you.

    You will take care of everything for me, right?

    I am looking forward to your arrival, but I am afraid that you will be as timid as I am?

    The clearly decided things are always delayed again and again.

    Be nice to the kids.

    If you have money, send him to the best school.

    If you have money, take him to play.  Tell him you exist.  Lost for so many years, you will find it for me.

    In the dead of night, when you look back at the road I walked, will you blame me for being too stupid?

    did not experience too many ups and downs.  But there is a sentimental heart.

    See through all the sadness.  In fact, he didn't see everything through.  Didn't put everything down either.

    There are two souls living in the body.  A devil, an angel.  They fought each other, all trying to plant the victory flag on my heart.  They violently devour the seeds of my longing.  I often forget who am I?  where?  Why live?

    Before you came to see me.  I will reflect on myself.

      Over the years, what have I done wrong?  Have you ever regretted it?

    In this world, I am sorry for four people.

    One is myself.  27 years.  The travel, freedom, and yearning I promised myself never came true.

    The second is the child.  Becoming a mother prematurely prevented me from acting as a qualified mother.  I never mentioned him in public.  It doesn't seem to exist in my memory.  He was born in Shanghai.  Accompanied by the Huangmei weather in June.  It rained for 15 days.  It's like a heavy burden has been lifted from the body.  At the moment he came into the world, I strongly realized that he might be the only child in my life.  I should give him love and try my best to give him the best in my life.  But instead I gave him nothing.

    Marriage is besieged on all sides.  How I hate him for coming into this world.  Let my heart soften because of him.

    But I love him.

    Love his innocent smile.  Love his chubby little hands.  Love him like my face.

    The third and fourth are parents.

    They have dedicated most of their lives to me.  And I got nothing in return.

    Every time I choose, they give appropriate suggestions.  And I always stubbornly choose my own path.  Wait until scarred to understand how precious their advice is.  So, you see me taking detours all the time.  At this time, you will understand more about the hard-won possession.

    No matter how difficult the road under your feet is.  Don't forget to smile.  Knowing that smiling isn't the answer, you can bring hope to those around you.

    Don't look at others just because you are in the crowd.  I thought it was love.

    Don't hurt other people because of loneliness.

    Don't be afraid of getting together just because of parting.

    You are unique.  It is the pride in my heart.

    ? A thousand sails will never regret

    ? If you don¡¯t change your original intention, you will be haggard

    ? A thousand sails are dead and come back

    Every color is always spring

    You have a lot of style and style, and you have nothing to do with the world.

    (Also written at 23:15 on January 20, 2018.) (Remember the website URL: www.hlnovel.com
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