But I have never met someone who makes me willing to give my whole heart.
? Today by accident, a junior high school classmate who has never been in touch with her left a message in my space, hoping to add me to the classmate group.
Looking at the screen, I don't know what I am running away from? Past people and memories are overlaid with the increasingly melancholic mood of the 27-year-old.
I suddenly longed for the past.
When I entered the group of classmates, they all had strange names, and these people accompanied me during my adolescence.
I don't know if they are doing well?
And I didn't even have the courage to say hello.
Maybe they have forgotten everything like me.
I don't know how to express my feelings, and I often hurt others unintentionally. Intentionally or unintentionally, it is like a struggling kite, flying to the unfettered sky.
I have been living in a world of one person. Build my mind and soul like unbroken walls.
The kindness of others to me will make me feel at a loss. I am a person who is very willing to give.
By chance, I saw his name in the classmate group. The passing time suddenly became very clear.
We were in the same class for three years. He is our monitor. When I was 15, I was shy and shy. He sat diagonally across from me.
Because of a love song at the New Year's Eve party, because of adolescent curiosity about the opposite sex.
I thought it was love.
I think I'm in love with him.
But he is so proud, so outstanding. Like the whole body is covered with brilliance.
In the third year of junior high school, when he was about to transfer to another school, I confessed my love to him.
He was the boy I confessed to for the first time, and also the last one. It is because of this confession that I feel like a stranger to him.
For some unknown reason, he did not transfer to another school.
He stayed.
Since then, facing him, there are many more barriers. I always take care of my sloppiness. Afraid that he would publish that love letter to the public. I have no face. Therefore, if you see him, you will always hide far away.
Fear him more than love.
Even when I meet on the road, I will walk away as if I didn't see it.
The person I like for the first time, the love letter I write for the first time, and the first time I feel at a loss.
However, we just missed it silently again and again!
Several times, he wanted to speak, but he never said it.
I still can't meet his eyes.
I heard that loving someone starts with not daring to look him in the eye
Many years later, a man told me that he was still unmarried
Many years later, I never heard from him again
Many years later, he is still him, I am still me, there is no episode in between
Whether he is doing well or not has nothing to do with me
And I never met anyone like him again
He cannot be copied. independent existence. Watered my adolescence.
Classmates in junior high school, ten years. I can remember very few people.
There is another guy who is sitting behind me. At that time I tried to write some messy words. A series of typos. The sentence doesn't make sense.
And he was the only one who saw it from beginning to end. I forgot what I wrote. I just remember that when he finished reading, he said to me, I am willing to be your reader. Well written.
I don't know where his patience comes from. Because even my best friend can't stand it. I once showed it to my mother, but my mother shook her head and said she couldn't stand it.
But he read it word by word.
He is afraid of me and obeys me. Everything I say is authoritative.
Many years later, I have forgotten what he looks like
And there is no one around me who blindly worships me
No one will understand me like him. understand me.
All good things come to an end.
My only two same-sex friends are in cities far away from me. Never contact.
I am a migratory bird who has lost its direction. Where do I perch, I have no way of knowing? Just keep flying, fly hard, want to fly higher and farther
My name is Yicheng. Because in my heart, there is an everlasting promise.