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devil heart

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    In memory, Suan Xiucai went away for several months without a single letter.  At the junction of summer and autumn, reeds grow wildly by the river.

    Sister Minmin and I like to sit on the pier and look at the boats on the river when we have nothing to do every day, lest we mistakenly see the one that Brother Lu is returning.

    The reeds were floating, and I was quick-witted, thinking that the straw shop in the Huashen Temple was already old, so I discussed with Xiao Chunyan to borrow two sickles to cut the reeds and make a new shop.

    Bai Lu, who clearly made an appointment, went out together this day, but there was no sign of him.  In fact, I haven't seen him at night in the Flower Temple for a long time.  When this new bed is finished, I will sleep alone.

    I don't know what he is busy with, let alone where he goes every day.  It's rare to see him once, and he's not so foolish anymore.  I don't think he's happy.

    What I said to me the day before yesterday was inexplicable.  He said, "I hope you will always be free and unrestrained. My free days are coming to an end. If you don't see me often in the future, don't forget me. We two have one life. If you live freely, you will live freely.  Feel free."

    I think this is his excuse for not coming to help me cut reeds to make a new shop.  The implication of his words is probably almost the same as, "We both die, if you are cutting reeds, it is I who are cutting reeds." You see, it is very clear.  I am now also a clever ghost who can hear the deep meaning.

    Sickle hohoho, I rolled my trousers, stepped barefoot on the shallow pond by the river, and sneezed several times because of the flying catkins flying all over the sky. Sister Minmin sat on the bank and laughed at me.

    I was about to climb ashore with a large bunch of reeds in my arms, but I was choked by a sneeze and couldn't stand still. I slipped and fell backwards, falling into the sunset, splashing golden-red water and mud.

    "Ouch! Ouch!" The naughty voice was not made by me, "Hahahayou made me laugh!"

    Suddenly hearing Xiao Chunyan's wild laughter, I was startled, and immediately got up from the water, lay down on the bank and looked over.

    Sure enough, he saw him walking slowly from nowhere, with a smile caught by the afterglow of the setting sun hanging on the corner of his mouth, swinging his trouser belt with one hand, and holding a butter paper bag in the other.

    After walking two steps, he kicked off his shoes at will, came to the shore barefoot, knelt down on the shore where I was lying on my stomach, handed the butter paper to my hand, and said with a smile, "Take it."

    I took the paper bag, looked down, and saw that there were hot pastries inside. I immediately took out a piece and gnawed on it, and said, "Why are you coming again? I thought you wouldn't come."

    After a pause, I turned my sideways eyes to him, and behind him, about ten steps away, stood four or five men in uniform uniforms, looking at him.  It looked a little sinister.

    Xiao Chunyan followed my line of sight, and I saw from the side that his brows were wrinkled.

    Just when I was about to ask who those people were, he flicked up the shoe that was kicked off by him, handed one to me, and said with a smile, "I just stole a few pieces of pastries from their house, and they went all the way.  Follow me, I'm bored to death. Here, take the shoes and help me throw them."

    "You steal their pastries and beat them?" I was very surprised.  Sister Minmin also noticed those people and ran over from the side to ask.

    Not only was Xiao Chunyan unreasonable, but she was so unreasonable that she confidently said, "Ah, yes. Anyway, I brought you food, and you ate it all. If you don't drive them away, do you want to be beaten by them?"

    Hearing this, I felt that his irrational words became very reasonable. I caught the shoe he gave me, gritted my teeth and threw it over.  It's a pity it didn't hit.

    Those people murmured for a while and stared at me viciously. I buried my head in fear, and looked up at Xiao Chunyan again.  He was still grinning.

    Immediately afterwards, Xiao Chunyan slowly suppressed her smile, stood up, caught off guard, threw her long arm violently, and the other shoe was thrown over, and only heard him shouting fiercely at the top of his voice, "Hey, I'm calling!"  Don't stand so close, don't roll away!"

    "Xiao Chunyan," I stepped in the water and was a lot shorter than him, so I had to pull his trousers. After he turned around, I asked him in a low voice, "Wouldn't they beat you for being so arrogant?"

    He raised his eyebrows and said, "Do you think they can beat me?"

    Not only did they seem like they couldn't beat Xiao Chunyan, but they also didn't dare to argue with Xiao Chunyan at all.  If you let it go farther, it will really go farther.

    None of them, who are so four or five big and three thick men, dared to argue with Xiao Chunyan.  It's not like me who bickers and quarrels with Xiao Chunyan at all, I look down on them.

    I was biting the pastry and thinking about it, when I suddenly saw Xiao Chunyan rolled up her trousers, and before I could react, there was a "plop", accompanied by mud and water splashes, covering my body.  Including the pastries that I hold close at hand and nibble on.

    "Hahaha" He bent down and picked up a handful of mud from the water and threw it at me.See, the rustling sound of Sister Minmin getting up from the reed bed was accompanied by her gentle and cold voice, "As long as I am still here and bring you eggs, it means that there is still something in my heart."  You. I really should get married, but who taught me to still be here. "

    They left silently one after the other.

    I still feel the heat of the handkerchief on my face and the big palm.  The gentle water soaked my skin, and the crackling sound pierced through the dust. Suddenly, I wanted to take time out of myself for a moment, and just used the blindfolded posture for a long time.

    Many feelings that are exhausting to look at are always empathetic.  Those who refuse to be infatuated are not ruthless, nor are they cold-blooded and cruel, but they are born to be people we can't warm up.  This is the conclusion I came to after chasing Jingxian for so many years and sister Minmin.

    "Xiao Chunyan, sometimes I really want to beat Brother Lu. The kind that beats me to death. Of course, I mean if I can beat you." I was silent for a moment, picked my fingers, and asked cautiously, "  Am I a bad person? Brother Lu obviously treated us so well."

    "If you divide people's boundaries by 'good or bad', then you can divide them by 'how close to you'. Don't talk about you, even I want to beat him." Xiao Chunyan took off the handkerchief and put it on  Scald in hot water.

    He stared at the firelight reflected in the hot water, his eyes were clear and transparent.

    That's it, he said something that I will never forget in my life.

    "The so-called good person in your eyes is someone who is close to you to yourself. And vice versa. But you have to know that the relationship between two people will not change forever, so it is impossible for people to  Always good, or bad. But to me alone, you're never bad."

    "You want to beat Brother Lu, so do I. Not only do I want to beat him, I also want to beat Jing Xian. They are sometimes bad people to me. Everyone who bullies you, sister Minmin, and Brother Lu  , I want to beat you."

    "But there are always good people who will stop me. For example, if I want to beat Brother Lu, will Sister Minmin be willing? I want to beat Jing Xian, will you be willing? No, right? Then you are good people to them  .¡±

    I seemed to understand but half understood, shaking my head in confusion, "I don't understand."

    "I just don't understand." Xiao Chunyan picked up the towel, twisted it half dry, and handed it to me, "You just need to know that I will live and die with you, when will you stop stopping me from the bottom of your heart, and when will I help you?"  Hit the person who bullied you. When you don't stop me anymore, you will know what it feels like to be the bad guy in front of Jing Xian. There is only a little pleasure, but a little bit of frustration, full of resentment, endless pain You will find that, do  A bad person with a love character is more uncomfortable than a good person.¡±

    At that time, I answered him firmly, "No, I won't let you beat him. I want to be a good person in front of him."

    He bent his knees and crossed his legs, smiled and looked at me with his chin propped up, "That's all. Anyway, if I need to hit him, you just squeak. Sometimes, it's worth the pain to take that little bit of pleasure for yourself."

    Later, I gradually understood what he meant by these words.  If you don't ask for too long, there will always be some grievances in your heart, and it's just that you are usually pressed down by love, so you want to do good things in front of him.

    But the most frightening thing is that if you can't get what you want after doing all the good things, that devil's heart will be ready to move.

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    1. I remember when I liked him, occasionally because I couldn't ask for it, I imagined that a handsome little brother would come and beat him up for me.  Let him know that I am also wanted by others, and that I am also precious in the eyes of others.  Let him know that even if there are other handsome little brothers who treat me well, I still like him very much.  Then I begged him to treat a precious person like me better and cherish him a little bit.  This is the lameest and most shoddy way I can think of.  I call it Devil's Heart.  It was him who beat him up, but he was the one who humbled himself.

    2. The devil's heart was mentioned once or twice before, and this chapter is full of details.

    3. Key words of the next chapter: I sighed for other people¡¯s death without a cause, but my own youth, devil¡¯s heart, Xiao Chunyan helped me beat Jing Xian, ¡°Sister Minmin, turn around.¡±

    By the way, I have to take the teaching qualification test tomorrow, I am too leisurely now, I am still coding.

    My roommate: Ice Cream, go to bed early today.

    me?  Why?

    Roommate: Exam tomorrow!

    Me:  (a mouthful of old blood) (remember this website URL: www.hlnovel.com
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